Stuart Haygarth’s Trashy Book

Never heard of Stuart Haygarth before today — not until I read a headline on BBC.com that said, “The strange beauty of lost rubbish.” It was right below a story about men who sing like women. “Hmmmmm,” I pondered. “Young countertenors or old junk?”

Tough choice.

Turns out Haygarth is a British artist. In 2011 he did something artsy: He trekked England’s southern coast for 500 miles picking man-made objects (a.k.a. trash) he found along the way. He then took the garbage and presented it as art.

Note I did not say he tried to repurpose, rehabilitate, or transmogrify his random rubbish. Nope. All he did was clean it up a bit, isolate various items into assorted combinations, then photograph the groupings.

The result: “Strand,” 128 pages of discarded items like combs, lighters, baby dolls, plastic balls, toys, containers and shoes.

Haygarth’s efforts reminded me a bit of an experience I had in the Navy in the early ’70s. I was in my barracks when I heard voices and footsteps. A quick peek into the hallway revealed an inspection team. My room was clean and tidy except for one thing: The trashcan wasn’t empty.

There wasn’t much garbage and, thankfully, no food, but there was simply nowhere to hide the stuff. I scanned the room for options. My eyes zeroed in on a poster. Inspiration hit. I grabbed a pair of scissors and a spool of Scotch tape then frantically snipped, twisted, shaped and taped the trash onto the poster. Finished just before the team entered the room.

It did not take long for the garbage collage to get noticed.

“What’s that?” the team leader yelled, pointing to the poster.

“It’s art, Sir!” I shouted back.

There was an uncomfortably long pause.

The officer moved closer, face-to-face, squinting into the depth of my soul. Then he walked away without saying a word or finishing the inspection.

I’d dodged a bullet, artfully.

Jim Lamb is a retired journalist and author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” the story of how he survived Vietnam and kept his sense of humor. His desk looks like a potential art project. For more about Jim and his writing, visit www.jslstories.com.