Retired journalist. Freelance writer. Author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” short stories about how I survived Vietnam and kept my sense of humor.

Feb 12, 2016

The Perfect Slurm — Part One

Goes well with Soylent Green. People love it — *and so do people*.

Donald Trump vs. Bernie Sanders: The Perfect Slurm

PART ONE:

Here’s what I want to see: The Bern in one corner; The Donald in the other. A full-scale Texas chain-saw caged Drudge-match. No holds barred. The best of UFC, WWE and Oui -Wii combined.

Loser leaves town; winner takes the White House.

Boo-Yah!

The best part?

Establishment types on both sides of the aisle won’t know what to do.

(President Bloomberg, I presume?)

Seriously folks … Nah. Who wants to be serious in serious times like these? Not me, obviously.

I want Occupy Whatever feeling The Bern. I want Tea Party partiers playing Trump. I want a shelf-full of talking heads harrumphing how neither guy can win — as they take gooble-di-gobs of money from each. This is the same media that complains about how there’s too much money in politics. Yet, where does it go? The Benjamins, the Bucks, the Bread. The Dead Presidents, the Dimes, the Dough. You know. ABC. NBC. CBS. CNN. FOX …

Moo-lah!

On your left: Bernard “Bernie” Sanders. Born 1941. Brooklyn, U.S. of A. Longest-serving independent in congressional history. Democrat since 2015. (You could look it up.) University of Chicago grad. Civil rights activist who aided the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) and the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC). Parents: Jewish immigrants from Poland and Russia.

On your other left: Donald John Trump, Sr. Born 1946 in Queens. Businessman. Investor. Real estate developer. Author. TV personality. Entertainer. Presbyterian. Republican since 2012. (You could look it up.) Attended the New York Military Academy, Fordham University, University of Pennsylvania, Wharton School. Grandparents came from Germany.

The New York Socialist vs. the New York Socialite.

Let the games begin!

NEXT: Soylent Green — For the people, by the people, made with people.

Goes great with Slurm — and a splash of lemon.

Jim Lamb is a retired journalist and author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” the story of how he survived Vietnam and kept his sense of humor. He often amuses himself when people aren’t looking. For more about Jim and his writing, visit www.jslstories.com.