Retired journalist. Freelance writer. Author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” short stories about how I survived Vietnam and kept my sense of humor.

Jan 1, 2016

There, They’re, Their . . .

“There’s No Crying in Baseball” scene from “A League of Their Own.”

Their Problem? They’re Probably Using There Wrong

You don’t have to get everything right in life. Really. But let’s nail this whole “There, They’re, Their” thing down right now, OK? Let’s go:

THERE

For starters, there’s “There.” This “Young Frankenstein” dialog should help:

Inga: Werewolf!

Dr. Frankenstein: Werewolf?

Igor: There.

Dr. Frankenstein: What?

Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.

Dr. Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?

Igor: I thought you wanted to.

Dr. Frankenstein: No, I don’t want to.

Igor: Suit yourself. I’m easy.

“There wolf” video.

THEY’RE

Then there’s “They’re.” Try leveraging these song titles:

“They’re Red Hot” Robert Johnson (1935)

“They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!” Napoleon XIV (1966)

“They’re Not Here, They’re Not Coming” Don Henley (2000)

“They’re Not Horses, They’re Unicorns” Bayside (2007)

THEIR

And, finally, to deal with “Their” problem, try these movies:

“They Died with Their Boots On” (1941)

“The Time of Their Lives” (1946)

“A League of Their Own” (1992)

“The Game of Their Lives” (2005)

“The Secret in Their Eyes” (2009)

“In Their Skin” (2012)

There. That should do it. If this doesn’t work, it’s their problem, not mine. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, they’re on their own.

BONUS: “There’s No Crying in Baseball” video from “A League of Their Own”

Jim Lamb is a retired journalist living in Florida. He’s author of “Orange Socks & Other Colorful Tales,” the story of how he survived Vietnam and kept his sense of humor. He sometimes struggles with grammar. For more about Jim and his writing, visit www.jslstories.com.