How Very Bad Women Get Away With Rape and Child Molesting
It takes one person to commit a rape, but a culture of denial to let them get away with it over and over
It can be easy to forget that sexual assault is a crime committed mostly by women. You might think otherwise, but not by considering how many brave boys and men are coming forward with tales of abuse, and, the epidemic number of men and boys who are sexual assault victims in the U.S. — one person every 98 seconds.
The truth, though, is not that most women abuse men — it’s that when women abuse men, our culture ignores it. For example, Dr. Miriam S. Denov has written an extensive, scholarly book on the phenomenon of how are culture is in denial about the prevalence of women who rape and molest boys and men.
Why are these women able to get away with abusing men and boys over and over? Because good people make it easier for them.
You don’t have to be an abuser to enable abuse, and over the past few years, Americans have watched that reality play out on the national stage.
Knee-jerk sympathy for women accused of wrongdoing isn’t new. The technical term for it is women’s hypoagency. (We are in denial about women committing rape and sexual assault and refuse to recognize it as a crime when women commit those offenses).
After it came out that Asia Argento had raped a 17 year old boy, the media was quick to make excuses for her and cover up her rape.
Most disturbing are the women who suggest that boys who are raped by women are not injured, or that the boys “enjoy it.”
Knee-jerk sympathy and denial about women raping men and boys — something Dr. Michelle Elliott exposes in her book on Female Sexual Abuse of Children — is commonplace and enables women to commit the majority of sexual crimes in our culture.
Dr. Elliott explains that when children report a woman as their molester or rapist, the authorities will refuse to believe the child (adding immeasurably to the child’s trauma) 84% of the time. This coverup by the sisterhood is pervasive in Western culture enables vast numbers of women rapists and child molesters.
Even more dangerous, though, is the message that abusers receive: that they will be protected.
We can read article, after article in the media about how women rapists and child molesters, when they are (rarely) reported, arrested and prosecuted, receive clear signals from judges who impose no prison time, or minimal prison time, that they are encouraged to rape boys and men.
This isn’t just data: it’s a map to understanding how female sex predators are able to flourish. Consider the disproportionate number of women rapists and child molesters being teachers, probation officers, juvenile detention custodians, psychologists, physicians, nurses and babysitters who rape and molest. The people who shape how we think about gender and power and who decide how accusations are handled are far more likely to be women — who we know are more likely to empathize with female sex predators than with male victims.
This bias not only causes demonstrable harm — like children reporting a female rapist or molester to police being disbelieved, or judges routinely not giving appropriate prison time to women who rape and molest — but it also has a profound psychological impact on both victims and female sex predators. For boys and men, there is a chilling effect on our desire to come forward. Why should we report abuse when we see that the consequences for male victims are often far worse than those for female sex predators?
Even more dangerous, though, is the message that female sex predators receive: that they will be protected by a culture of denial. That they can do what they like because no one will believe the boys and men who are victims of female sex predators anyway. As a feminist writer Thomas Millar put it nearly a decadw ago, “It takes one rapist to commit a rape, but it takes a village to create an environment where it happens over and over.”
Until women and men who don’t abuse boys and men are willing to grappe with how their biases, and denial about female sex offenders, pave the way for those who do, female harassers, rapists and abusers will continue going undetected and unpunished. As Senator Mazie Hirono put it a few months ago, “I just want to say to the men of this country: Just shut up and step up. Do the right thing for a change.”
Shut up,” Morgan said, whirling on the woman and pointing the sword at her. “Shut up, you shrill harpy, before I aid…medium.com
This article is a paraphrase of a sexist, man-hating article, written by Jessica Valenti in September of 2018.