Failure is not an option
I’ve come back to my writing corner on the web. It’s one of the best outlets I think I’ve discovered where I can be myself and express who I really am. I feel a lot of the time people hide behind a visage and present a different person on the internet than they would if you were to meet them in real life. You might be saying to yourself right now that is not true for everyone. You would be right. The point is that it’s good to be “you”. That means being you when life is hard.
Ten years ago, I was battling moderate anxiety, depression, and remember every night not wanting to go out. I didn’t want to see anyone. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I spent every day in my room just so that I could avoid people. This lasted a whole year and during this time, I lost friends, I lost relationships, I lost hold on my life. I don’t share this story so that you can sympathize with me , but more to understand that this kind of thing affects everyone to some level or degree. It’s very real. But it doesn’t end here.
Fast forward five to ten years and I still have bouts of anxiety and depression, but the difference between then and now is that I know there is help and I can manage it. I have been staggering in my career to be a developer since I first started on this trek. I have had one real interview for a tech job. I have been passed over multiple times for positions with various companies. I have wanted to cut the rope and convince myself that I’m not good enough to do this work. Still, I manage to persist and move forward because that is the only way I can go. There is no going back. I’ve spent 70% of my life pursuing development in one capacity or another from self-teaching to teaching students how to code to attempting to learn new technologies while trying to keep up with the technological changes that are rapidly occurring within the century.
I wrote an essay in 2005 called “Life”. At the time, I was looking for a relationship with a woman who was in her 20s, someone with the same interests as me, who enjoys the outdoors. She is a woman who is full of energy, but also has a sense of self-control. She is an intelligent woman who I can have a conversation with for hours and learn things from because of her insightfulness and her value to a conversation. I haven’t found this woman yet. I believe she is out there and only time will tell. The other part in my essay that I wanted to impart that is related to this post is about the abstract idea of “life.”
Life is what you make of it; there are no right or wrong answers. My philosophy is ‘keep doing what you love’, and to me, that is the pursuit of happiness.’
If you take anything away from this post, I hope it’s that no matter how hard life gets, or how many curve ball you are thrown, or how many times you get knocked down, stand back up and try again. You are going to fail over and over, but giving in to failure is not an option. I’ve been continually at it for the better part of ten years now and one day I believe I will reach my goal with grit, determination, persistence, and dedication.
Feel free to leave any comments and if you enjoyed this post, you can follow me on Twitter at @JimFTryon.
