I forgot to tell you something.

Do you remember that first car ride back to school freshman year? Your mom dropped you off at my house, and instead of hopping in the passenger seat, I popped in a cd and sat in the back with you. We had just become friends then. We barely knew each other. You were some guy who lived on the floor below me. When I found out we were from the same area, I suggested carpooling.

It’s strange how much we can like a person without really knowing them. I liked you. Like liked. I liked you when we went ice skating and you figured out how to skate backwards while the rest of our friends were clinging to walls. I liked you when half the floor would cram into your room, jamming on guitars and keyboards, trying to learn new songs and butcher old ones. I liked you when you showed me the chords to Viva la Vida.

Years later, after we started dating, you told me you liked me from the very beginning. Like liked. I think maybe I knew. I told you I had felt the same way, but I don’t think you believed me. Maybe it’s because I had dated other people since then, or because I was always less open about how I felt than you were. Maybe it’s because despite loving you at my 100%, I never could match yours.

Anyways, you told me you liked me when we went ice skating and I showed you how to skate backwards. You liked me when I laughed in your room, trying to remember the words to a song . You liked me when I struggled to learn the chords to my first song, Viva la Vida.

You liked me on that first carpool ride back to school.

That was the one you always talked about. You said you’d expected it to be a silent ride. Us listening to our own music for four quiet hours because we weren’t really long car ride friends. Instead I popped in a cd and sat in the back with you. We chatted. Or I made you chat, as you liked to joke. We chatted about school, and winter break, and music. It was mostly about music.

I’d made the cd the night before, picking popular songs from bands you liked and slipping in a few others just to make it less obvious. When you said we had similar tastes in music, I pretended to be surprised.