I am a performer and have been having the same insecurities as you for a long, long time, but over the years have learnt to overcome bit by bit. Here are my three cents:
Read the “Richest Man in Babylon”. Great education on money, back to the basics. Pay yourself 10% no matter what, and do not touch it, letting wealth grow.
Secondly, the language you use about money creates the emotions, the emotions create your beliefs, which creates your action. Language is like a parasite, it is infectious, it has power, it sticks to your nervous systems and becomes the way you move, the way you live. Change your language.
There’s a world outside of money. I have travelled all my life, to places where money does not dictate the landscape. You ought to step out, beyond the zones of comfort, where miracles happen.
Also don’t lose your faith in humanity. The world you and I know are just a small fraction of whats really out there. You have more skills to thrive and survive than you know.
I have been travelling all my life. Just like you I relied on my known circles without developing the characteristics of a self reliant man. I poured all my passion into my art. I had spent a long time finding who I was, now that I have (as have you), I realized that I knew myself all along; the more important question that should’ve been asked was “where is my place in this world?”
I think you are courageous to have dedicated yourself to a craft, and since you are young with a measure of health, finding your place is still possible. Most people rather find their places, but once they find themselves they realize it is not their place, but then they are trapped. You? You know yourself, and in time your place will be certain.
Don’t be afraid to be poor financially; pressure will make you creative. Don’t be afraid to step away from your world, to travel and be nomadic; 99% of things around you don’t matter, and you are stronger than you think.
Hoping you are well.
Let’s continue pushing forward, in fear, but overcoming fear.