The birth of my husband.

It is like the birth of your child.

It has this time in the “womb” and the time together, where we will have celebrations. Thinking of what we will celebrate, and how, and what we will find we believe. Having ideas to celebrate that. We have seen all the others using us to celebrate their ideas with them. We had to walk their shows and creations.

I had the best family, my old grandparents, and grandparents, and all the people around them and before had made the best ideas for this. We were never forced to come, but they were raised to be good to kids, and all had a part, and all were taught how to make kids happy, and could entertain us very well, so well all wanted to see their shows. But they would say, all were this way, this is how we were, every house had instruments, and games, and all had fun with kids, and all was about home and kids and having the fun to create your own music and shows, and talks and keeping all enliven. It is the bond with the kids, the time they had through life with you, and many died young, so it was a precious time you could share, a luck to be alive, and luck to be able to have something all liked, so they worked hard on this entertaining all and saw all do that to their families. Families were big and focused on their own kids the most, but about creating together. You created kids with someone, and you were created by someone, and the kids would create new kids, and all left, all alive were there to be alive. The time God had given, to be enlivened.

So, who started to use us, is still a question, we were not raised that way and the many centuries before us were not that way either.

Do we want to use other people? The schools got so out of hand, with using people, as if they do not spend time at home, and have no kids to feed with ideas at home, and to not be bonded at home. As if we are loose people, with only some stranger you live nearby. They do not spend time finding the love of their lives around the world, or their own soul, or their own studies expansions, to find out what all really means. The way we have the duty to wonder and to find better ideas and better science and better results, so the home you have created will be filled with new knowledge, and you will become a better person. Filled up with the best ideas. So good you can work with that, someday, and some time. The way your life will go. I do not want to use people. It is a luck we met so many people, and know how many are good. And that our kids are not in this world, for these foster parents, and not for these locals, they are simply stolen, only. My grandpa was not made to make bombs for Hitler to let Den Hague get bombed, he was simply taken, by criminals. He made life all around that time so much more and better for him, for us and all people, and all knew that, as all had done the same. They always said the war was relatively short, compared to the rest of our lives. And the time before and after was more impressive, thank God. The time was bad and extreme, but the love of their parents and family bigger, also for us. And they loved to see us grow up and to see how all got war free and into better times. No one should live such war though, and none should take kids, as you have a God’s plan, and worked hard to be the best with them. All did. And none were stolen in their time, and our time. It is the latest fascists idea to earn, as they have no talents. None with talent would ever take such a job. None with talent would find it hurtful to hear such, they would agree, and not be in those jobs, that is where the rest of the world is, not them, not there, not those jobs. We all are busy and with our own things. The bad luck is that this region is badly developed, and has no idea of what that means. So, they use people. And the schools even more than in any other region. Draining, so drained, they do not know people, they only know to be empty together.

Do we want just us, and our own celebrations? Do we find out how we want to share that? Do we find the questions to ask to others to be sure we should share all that? I wonder that more than being with him, one day. No matter I had such a long time alone. I choose to live like this, since little and had times people were horrible to other people, trying to force people into forced marriages with rapes, which is typical to only those people, and not our times, nor ever before us. It is their sects and illness. And dumbness not knowing human and human rights, not be able to understand people and live. So, it was easy to let them fall and get the hard times, all criminals always get. I had the dumbness of the schools, and clear how low they stand, because they are born in this country and raised here and with some of those insane sects. Nothing sane about forced living, and economic living, and forced marriages, to have a fake life. It means real-life exists somewhere and they never have it. They do know what to pretend, but the real idea is too hard for them to achieve, especially because the real people know how long it takes to find your one if he is not dead. All know I wait only for him, and all know people used to have more respect for such life, as that was the only norm. All families always had some women and men alone, forever. As life is since the beginning of the Homo Sapiens, and clearly for all animals, random, just who survives is there, thus sometimes you remain alone.

I wanted to know the real-life I have and find out what is real of my feelings, and ideas, and all was still true till thus far. But either way, I only marry that man I have in mind. It is like getting children, you do know you are a mother, but if you will get the kids? It is also like the wrong drugs in the sixties, where doctors kept prescribing them to pregnant, even when kids were born with no arms and no legs, because of criminals in the jobs, you would suddenly and only because of them have a life, not the way it was actually meant. Them causing damage is bad, but also the change in the lives caused other criminals in health care to suggest it is just a child and abandon them. So, they suddenly had not the arms and legs to move towards their life meant, and no one carrying about them. Yes, it is at times that low. Aware you are lucky your one is alive, but just not here, because of something. Something there, or here, causing the things to go this way. But you learn so much more, by staying true.

So, because my grandparents stayed true and said they were lucky and had seen many alone forever, we knew this is luck and so special, it is something like getting a child, real men and real love knows that thus I should just be available to only him, just for the sake of it. For when one can find me. When that is, because I can not know what it is that happens to one, as others do not always know who did what to me. All can be a cause of such loneliness. The worst I found was being untrue and having someone, and he had to sense such. I could not live with that. Even worse, sensing such, then meeting up and having to say, oh sorry, I now met you, but I did 100 men. No, not me. I rather have after his many faults, him in the pain of being wrong, but not too much, I would die, if I had done such, so as hell as that thought is, I learned to stay true to that, and not accept crimes, as your one can also be anyone, I do not think mine is, but I see how some live through way deeper ideas about the one they were meant for, and then they end up as criminal as my environment the way the locals are, I understand how their true loves are hurt more than me ever about my one, or he to me, but to stop the pain with the idea, one had to stay true at some point, so let's start with that. And being unfaithful is unbearable. And the most I learned is I do not know all. Does he know I am raped and have kids? All assume I wanted kids from that person because I have them. So, I am aware any beside him is a rapist. Just because I exist, and he should be here, and might could have, also it is the way people trick things that cause them not to have their one. So, criminals talk to the mind, and try to change the mind, and try to take your true life away, and I just will not be that. The person beside him will be known for her faults, as all already know that. The way I would be if I faked him, and was just there to economically have kids, and model a fake smile to the world. Anyway, my one would be hurt, so I would not.

And only because people hardly found the one easy, we do not have such a book yet, I guess. So, I find we should. And because it teaches us so much more, than to give in to the economic users of society. Lots do not even have kids, that think like me, it is why many Dutch never get kids in this bad country. Or wait till the older generations are gone. It is not that uncommon, but it is very deeply needed to clean all around kids, to get pedophiles locked up and to get people free. So, they get their own rights, and not the hollowness of how economic marriages are made, and just leaving the kid somewhere, as empty as they are. But to have conscientiousness, the way human rights demands.

That I turned out XY female, after a long time known to have pubertas preacox at 3, and then because of that the idea of being very feminine, being so young with periods and all feminine things, makes me clearly see how insane such a situation would be, if one was lying to someone, stuck in the web of lies and then being a boy, without knowing it, it would be stinging. While now I am just a boy with a female body, and I know actually my one could know. That truth in the senses and sensing a one, where you know yours is a male or female. This being true is way more interesting, and life itself way more surprising. And in the end, all you do is only allowed to be according to human rights, ethics, and sciences and empathy. Thus your own lies are not so allowed, even all do lie. That only saves you more from the liers, by being able to leave them, and let them fall into their self-made dumbness and crime scene where they will die in. Where my heart is my soul that is not their ideas, even reading this creates their mind on this, for them, never me. The fake touches they do with the people, and me the real touches with my senses and soul. There is no choice when you are this deep, you just let them die, and take care better of all you can and matters to you.

We have people knowing about this true love they have, and some finding each other. Many had to face the setting up on blind dates, with people your fake friends like for you, so they can rule your family. The exploitation of people they know, and the fake smile along with it. All planned to own you, they think. That hollow their heart is as if we just have someone, the way their hollow heart does. And many are in fear of never getting him, so they just take someone, perhaps do not know how to say no to the blind date offer, as they gave up, and people pushed too hard to just take someone. And in some places, people are really too pretty, to cute, to hard to say no too, especially when you doubt, and especially when the environment is bad, actually, not letting you be, since birth, but have an idea planned for you.

But I had, thank God, my grandparents and before them all of them like this. All alone till him is a norm for me. And they respected me so much, they do not mind the outcome. And they were precise, as they could only marry once. So, they really never had others than each other, and that was so good a childhood, I know why they loved that idea and stayed true to that, and how that is logic.

The pedophiles in this country over the years though, which we never knew when we were kids, and those were not Dutch typically anyway, only the X and boom started to live with those crimes around them, the insanity tried to make a norm. They are typical, they tried the kid's life, and are around schools and social work, and especially today. It only got worse and worse, and the bad bosses of the schools, anyway the bad that they stayed open with jobs, while science proved they are not allowed anymore, and human rights demand totally something else, even warn for all the crimes that happen because of them. Only, for the sect they are, they stay open and seek souls. The realness is they must be closed some years now and all must do the extension of their home, and do schooling totally private and personal choices and way different than today is still done. It is very much studied a topic, but none dares the changes, so we also see the people in those jobs scared, and not so studied. Not able to find the modern ways, and still abuse and use kids, and keeping with myths the schools open for criminals, and to create crimes. There are always more pedophiles around in the worst times, so the more there are too at this time.

You can read that as 0/1 were they there or not. Not as much when I was a kid, and we had a better time. Lots now, and now we have pedophiles wanting to be a political party. And that simple way we can measure yes the fascists are trying to make us slaves. None has a right to know people through schools, but all forced us too there, to know people from schools. We know people from any place. But they think from schools.

Same way as the birth of my husband. There is the birth of my kids back into my life.

As, I was really a good mother, and still am. I cared for them more than these locals ever had themselves with their parents and any around them. They could not relate, thus took mine, literally only that. Normal people would have understood all I do, and had themselves written many books this way. They only think fascists way, and live with the pedophiles wanting to be a political party. 1 and 1 remain 2. Their fathers, their mothers, oh how cold.

Clearly, cause where is the friend in them, sharing the love for their kids normally? And if not yet kids, where is a long time towards their kids, where they wrote to them, like me? And thought of them their whole lives, like me. I lived every day only loving my kids. All my friends and I could speak about our kids. We could all dream of that. We had plans, and we shared, we had real bonds. We had not the need to steal each other, kids, we lived a good life together, we knew that such a useless job, we are all happy, so our kids will be.

So, besides us, it is typically one would steal. The hollowness clear. Not able themselves to find this normal, makes them mentally severely ill and obsessed with all good, none allowed by them to be good. As if they are someone, forever they are no one, they do not even have normal love for kids. That's a no one. Coming from nothing, going to nothing. And accusing me of being “..”? Emptiness in all words… As it was only fascists fraud to get ruling and nothing to rule, as there was never anything. I am even known as a good mother, so knew right away the criminals are at work here, no one else.

The strength from the many more people I know and love me and found me a good mother, always. And known for this writing and being and loving and having ideas on what to do with kids, and read so many thousands of times by so many Dutch, I know where I stand. Not only by my studies, were all found me very good at my studies and work. I was an example and remain one. Thus their dumbness brought them to the real Netherlands as if they have never lived there. They will learn to be a normal person on my back, bits by bits, but will the same time be caught for being obsessive and ill.

And we saw them change and not even able to change all to normal, with the most mentally ill ideas about health care, and their jobs in that. Simply abusing, trafficking people, as if MD would, as if they are MD’s, and if anyone is allowed to deny human rights, and skip them?

Just ruining anything I do, to not let me live, we all know the many years that put them away in jail. The hollowness they want to put on others, as empty as they are, the lonely they are, not having their own lives, not busy enough with that. Not having a matter enough to do just that.

The locals, they would hang one in town, to create fake respect for the evil. The locals would twist to not be the hanged. Fascists only. We only found the many years they did this, and why they are never living anywhere else in the world, they fit nowhere, not even here, but this is where they are born. We would never be able to be like them anywhere. It is the useless raising of criminals, as anyone knows such never live anywhere. It shows us they did this in this region, as their only place to be, and then with torture and lies frauding all to keep this only spot on earth. And they feel so attached to that, not even their own family, but these local places to have something, someplace. It is sad. The typical no war, they “war”, so it seems like war, so someone pays them money to solve wars, it is the top frauds of frauds, and then feeling a hero to be a top of something, of the meaningless top, to make it even more wool around the top of nothing, the wool might costed some money, who will pay, the wool will come next time, when one pays, they already seek for the ways, of emptiness, to be hollowness, and have some words, and sometimes, and some people and wool are expensive, so they need people, and we accidentally live there and are used for the wool, never needed, as emptiness never needs, but they wanted wool around the top of emptiness. So through the wool need, and the times I spend to make my kids the best they could be with their own free will and all the work I had put into them, I, of course, have a husband, as any is born with a man or woman to be their own. And as much as I know that is a man, I know who that is. So, I prepare for the birth of my husband.

I was always the happiest mother, for being smart for spending years before my kids to be creating things for them. Years and years, and the long as it would take. And that made me clear the idea I could make about them was exact. The people trying to brainwash, are not only by me know as ill, all that know us, see it, as they were the ones telling us way more on all we knew from the past, and were right. They know when one is criminal and ill. And helped us out, and arranged how I had to live with my kids. As I kept that and did all that, else I would end up jailed, even. And I clearly see why, and clearly see I was on time leaving them, and being away from them, and what that all means, thus also, why it counted since that moment, to make such decision, and I had been on time with that. As all wonder a time what to do, and there is a point where you must change all. And I did and correctly and got the help to understand indeed I was right and fine, and better to leave them. And my kids were extremely happy that way too, and just their schools were wrong, criminals in the schools, and then a country way to slow on jailing workers. As they had worked on this many years, to keep themselves in the jobs, no matter the crimes and the dumbness they have. As they were also clearly not good at any job, they had hunger crimes. Abusers only they are.

The birth of my husband. (Part 2)