Partnering with God Against Heartache

Me in the middle contemplating | Photo Credit: Kevin Peter Kim

If I were to solely express the feelings and happenings in my life, this medium would be nothing more than a glorified diary. To truly have my work glorify God, I pray that He help me be intentional with my words. Without Him, I am but a vapor in the wind.

As promised, here’s a dose of honesty and vulnerability. This month has been amongst the worst in my life. Never have I felt so torn between friendship, family, and relationship. Altogether, these pains have pushed me towards the extreme ends of my emotional spectrum: apathetic numbness and silent weeping. However, going into details will not provide the catharsis I need — that alone comes from the Lord. Now, I have two choices: I can either wallow in my anguish, or I can fight desperately to soften my heart for Christ.

Did Christ not suffer oh so infinitely more? Is everything He does not for the good of me? Was I not called to pick up the cross and follow after Him?

The more individualized my view is of the world and the less I see my spiritual walk as a partnership with Christ, the more prone to failure I am and the less closer I draw near to Him.

I am encouraged by Charles Spurgeon. “I am certain that I never did grow in grace one-half so much anywhere as I have upon the bed of pain.”

The question of whats and hows still eludes me, but I know this. The sorrow of the world, the joy of the Lord; the latter infinitely outweighing the former. I must have hope in the Lord. I am going to fight all the harder to ground myself in Him. He is worth it.

Let’s worship.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
 and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18