This is such a complicated topic in my life. I am in love with the ex (TC.) Ours was an intense connection from the moment we met. Years later, as my parents age & my dad is terminally ill, being an only child, I’ve had to make decisions on emergency contacts, who can make decisions for me if I’m unable & many other things.
When I looked at my circle, there wasn’t (and still isn’t) anyone I would trust with my life as much as I do TC. He’s seen me at my absolute worst, supported me emotionally & financially at times, we’re the beneficiaries of each other’s respective life insurance policies, etc. I’m dating & eventually, this stuff comes up. As it is, we are still a part of each other’s lives in ways that extend beyond what I listed above.
He’s made it clear we have no romantic future. I accept that, but once I love someone, I tend to always love them. I don’t have a large circle of friends & I’m pretty private.
It does make new relationships/dating more complicated. Because of the interaction, I find it dishonest to try to hide the former feelings between us. Yet I have peace of mind because I know I’m in good hands should something happen to me.
We’ve said this could change if either of us marry or become seriously involved with other people — but what about now? That’s a lot to change simply because it makes you look better when dating. I’ve not really figured out the best way to handle it (obviously) yet, I’m not the type to make changes like these, lightly.
While I am not & couldn’t be in a polyamorous relationship, I do believe you can live two men (people) at one time. That’s not a popular statement, but I believe most are capable. Many probably do… the reason we don’t know is because it’s not really something that’s talked about openly.
