Sorry. But You Are Not Enough.
By Jason John Bartholomew
June 14, 2017
Here’s some real news for you. You have been lied to. Often. Like every day since birth life pretty much. Even longer if your mom was one of those who bought into the pre-birth baby affirmation thing, in which case there is a very good chance even before birth some lies where being blasted through the amniotic fluid straight into your still developing brain. Look, I get it. Being lied to sucks. The only thing worse is when you find out you were lied to about something you really liked hearing and believing. Why do you think Fake News is such a big deal? Because it’s sooo fucking easy. But you shouldn’t hate yourself. It makes you human. We all wanna believe we are wonderful, special, amazing creatures at all times. Me especially.
So I am going to very quickly set the record straight about a modern cultural myth that you have bought into hook, line and sinker that is, in fact, complete rubbish. Hey, I’m only doing this now because fake news is such a big deal currently so I figure you are already in hearing and accepting hard truths mode. Ok here it is:
You are not enough. You are not smart enough, not nice enough, not wonderful enough and probably not even pretty enough either. You’re just not. And furthermore, you are not ok on your own and you do not in fact “have this.” You need others desperately for a variety of logistical and emotional reasons otherwise you are going to die. You are not an island.
Fuck! Don’t you hate when one over-used pithy idiom posturing as universal wisdom conflicts with another one? “I am enough” and “No man is an island.” God damn it.
Look, let’s be brief. If you can do all the following, I’ll eat a cake that looks like a hat. Rotate your tires, re-roof your abode, sew in a button, cook an appetizing dinner for four, dress yourself in a manner expected by your station (job, etc.) in life, your taxes, negotiate a raise, decline an invitation you don’t want to attend, troubleshoot you computer, help your kid with calculus, plant rosebushes, buy presents people love…oh fuck it. You get the idea right? You need other people. And not just for logistics that, if your lucky and wealthy, can be outsourced. You need people to scratch you back and to tell you when there is spinach between your teeth and to remind you not to fly off the handle at whatever thing you always fly off the handle over, and to cuddle and make you soup, and to have sex with you, and to listen to you ramble on and on about boring shit only you care about.
Got it? You are not enough. You have major flaws and major needs for love and affection and pretending you don’t makes you an asshole.
Not only do you, indeed, need a man, you need “a guy”, a woman, a bestie, a rabbi, a nemesis…and backups of all these.
Ok. Now you know. Carry On.
Oh, and one more uncomfortable thing. You should have already figured all this out for yourself. Further proof, know what I mean?
