Escaping Twin Flames: A Netflix Movie Review

Recently, a friend of mine encouraged me to watch “Escaping Twin Flames” on Netflix. It is a three-part docuseries on Twin Flames Universe, which is a large and controversial online community that claims to help people find their “twin flame” or soulmate.

Setting the Stage

I was particularly interested in this film because I was part of a smaller online coaching program that claimed to help people navigate the dating scene and find lasting love. The group I belonged to had several success stories of people in middle age, or who were not “conventionally attractive” finding love in today’s competitive and low-trust dating environment.

Online communities such as Twin Flames Universe appeal to people who are lonely, scared, and who feel like they have exhausted the “conventional wisdom” offered by therapists and self-help books. When I joined my program in 2019, I was leaving an extraordinarily stressful job and preparing to move to another city. Having tried most conventional dating advice with limited success, I felt like it was a good time to “shake things up” and try something new.

The people interviewed in “Escaping Twin Flames” described a similar sentiment. All of them were looking for love in their lives when they joined — either from someone they knew already, or from someone they hadn’t met yet.

What Is A Twin Flame, Anyway?

According to Forbes, a twin flame relationship is described as “a certain intense connection between two individuals who are supposedly two halves of one whole.” It is similar to what most people describe as a “soulmate,” which is “someome with whom you share immense compatibility.”

In the film, the leaders of Twin Flames Universe would search for signs of connection between two people, and if the connection appeared promising to them, the person would be strongly urged to pursue connecting with their twin flame, regardless of the cost or consequences.

What if your twin flame is married to someone else? Living in another city or country? A different gender than what you’re normally attracted to? The film showed several examples of Twin Flames Universe’s leaders urging people to intensely pursue connections. There were several examples where Twin Flames members would engage in stalking or get into serious relationships with people they had strong reservations about.

To my coaching group’s credit, they did not encourage people to stalk people or date someone they had strong reservations about. They only advised people to date someone they liked, and to take the right amount of time to get to know someone before making major commitments.

Remember That Coaching Is A Business

“Escaping Twin Flames” revealed that Twin Flames Universe is a private, for-profit business. On their website, they market a variety of products, including books, guided meditations, workshops, online courses, and life coach training. Their prices range from $10 for an e-book to $8,888 for an all-access pass to all of their content. Twin Flames Universe also has their own network of life coaches; although no pricing is provided, the average hourly rate for a life coach is between $75 and $200 per hour.

As a student of several life coaches, I have found that most charge between $150 and $300 per hour, usually as part of a package deal with a $2,000 — $5,000 price tag. The costs of some programs I have taken, or considered taking, were:

- $600 for an 8-week online course, with one group session weekly.
- $1,700 — $2,500 for six 90-minute sessions, spanning twelve weeks.
- $3,000 for a 6-month membership, including three (3) one-on-one sessions and two group sessions weekly.
- $4,000 for a 26-week course, with a weekly 90-minute meeting with the instructors.

The sky is the limit for some “advanced” programs. The leaders of my coaching program paid $30,000 for a one-year business mastermind membership, and over $100,000 for a one-year “creative genius” program. Of course, their top-line revenue was over $300,000, so they could justify it as a business expense.

If you decide to join a coaching or mentorship program, please remember that most life coaches are self-employed, and that their programs are private, for-profit businesses. If you see a practitioner claiming they are a “spiritual” or “loving” person, yet they go on social media to flaunt their house, car, or fancy clothing, beware!

The Dangers of Mind Control

In “Escaping Twin Flames,” many members of Twin Flames Universe developed doubts when they encountered difficulties implementing their coach’s advice. In the film, if a person was angry or frustrated at someone else, they were advised to “do a mirroring exercise,” which involves changing the names and pronouns from the other person to yourself. For example, “I am angry at Jane for dumping me” becomes “I am angry at myself for rejecting me.” If this didn’t work, and someone expressed frustration, the founders would get angry and accuse them of “not being serious” or “not really wanting their twin flame.” This resulted in people being conditioned to act against their better judgment or becoming alienated from the group.

In my own coaching program, I ran into this same phenomenon when the founders secretly started a “rich guys’ club” that cost $36,000 a year to join. When I e-mailed them to discuss my concerns, they came back with statements like “you’re not taking all of our advice” or “you’re acting out of your shadow side.” They also said that “Harvard doesn’t accept everybody,” when it was clear the primary selection criteria were the ability and willingness to pay! When I stood my ground, the leaders began treating me differently, like I was a low achiever and not quite welcome in their presence, while happily taking my membership fees. They knew that pushing me out of the group would impact their bottom line — so things were awkward for my last four months with them.

If a practitioner causes you to question your own perceptions of reality, run as far and fast away as you can! What they are doing is gaslighting, which is never acceptable. Even if you aren’t the easiest client, gaslighting and mind control are not OK.

When Greed Gets Out of Hand

In “Escaping Twin Flames,” many of the people involved left the group when they discovered that their registration fees and their efforts were being used to prop up the founders’ lavish lifestyle. In the film, several clips are shown where the founders bragged about their luxury SUV, mansion in the country, and designer clothes.

At first, the Twin Flames coaches could keep 100% of their coaching fees. Since they had already paid for their training, and were actually self-employed, that seemed reasonable. Later on, the founders demanded a 50% cut of their affiliate coaches’ fees. When one affiliate coach said she could not live on 50% of what she was making, the founders became livid, demanding that she “live in one room with four kids, sleeping on a mattress on the floor” like someone else they claimed was willing to do.

In my coaching group, the founders offered a “movement leadership” class that cost $12,000. They promised the four people who signed up that they would be able to recoup the costs by earning commissions on the programs they sold. They were offered a 10% commission on a $5,000 program — meaning they would each need to sell 24 programs to recover the cost of their training. Two people sold two programs each, and a third person sold one program. The founders walked away with $45,500 and several hours of their clients’ time bringing in business for them!

If this sounds exploitative — that’s because it is! No one should ever have to pay to work for a for-profit business. When I ran this by another friend who left the group, his response was, “And you don’t even get to become a certified business coach. No thanks!”

The founders of my program also flaunted a lavish lifestyle on social media. While their membership numbers were declining, they bought a Tesla. When they laid off all of their paid staff and started the “movement leadership” group, they posted pictures of themselves at a fancy resort in Cabo San Lucas. They belonged to two upscale gyms, and rented a spacious house in a nice area. After their last few members left, they moved to a very expensive city in California, and posted pictures of the ocean from their house that they rented for $8,000 a month.

While Twin Flames Universe is still active, the coaching program I belonged to imploded a few months after my departure. The founders have moved on to new ventures and claim to be succeeding at those.

A Bittersweet Ending

“Escaping Twin Flames” ends dramatically, where several long-time members, some of whom held high-level staff positions, all left around the same time. One couple even rescues a friend who was in a dangerous situation and takes her back to her family on the East Coast. As the final credits roll, it is revealed that the people interviewed for the film all left in an 8-month period.

The “talking heads” in the film were not the people who paid $10 for a book they didn’t like or $300 for a retreat they didn’t enjoy. These people spent thousands with Twin Flames Universe and gave extensively of their time and talents. Some of them were seen as leaders by the greater membership.

As I finished my coaching program, one of the “golden boys” favored by the founders publicly stated I was “not taking responsibility for myself” on an Internet forum. That was when I made a clean break; I replied to his comment, telling the world I spent a large amount of money only to discover that the dating world was never going to change, blocked the founders and all of their insiders, and left for good.

Ultimately, the joke was on the “golden boy.” He left six months after I did to launch his own coaching business. Despite spending over $100,000 with them, the founders gave him a farewell party on Zoom. You would think that with a Tesla and the means to lease an expensive home in an expensive area in expensive California, they could at least fly out to his hometown and take him out for a nice lunch. But no — that would be “unhealthy attachment and unearned gratitude, driven by shadow.”

Conclusion

Being part of a high-control group was damaging for all of the people interviewed in “Escaping Twin Flames.” One person spent a month in jail and got a criminal record from stalking their ex at the leaders’ urging. Others had strained (or lost) relationships with close family members. One of the early leaders was wracked with guilt as she discovered she had hurt others. All of them were piecing their lives together again, going back to school, living on their own, and finding solace in their pets. All of them remained single, realizing they needed some time to heal and recover.

The film helped me to be proud of myself. The group I joined started out well enough, but over time, developed many high-control characteristics. The strained relationship I had with the founders protected me from even more damaging advice, controlling interactions, and eye-popping expenses. I spent the cost of an economy car with them, whereas the most “dedicated” members spent the cost of a modest house in Middle America. I stood up to the founders and their “golden boy,” and no longer receive marketing messages from any of them.

While I miss the meaningful friendships I had in my coaching program — I can rest easy, knowing that I have the strength to walk away from controlling people and situations, and limited the financial damage to an amount I could recover from. I learned from several other coaches and mentors who were more reasonably priced, more respectful, yet still provided meaningful expertise. I also gained the internal strength to “stand on my own two feet,” and have done well on my own recently.

I highly recommend “Escaping Twin Flames” to anyone who is considering becoming a part of a coaching or spiritual group. While there are many beautiful souls in the field, there are a few dangerous players out there, and this film will help you discern who can truly help you.