I started not to read this article and am now, very glad I did do just that. I, so I’ve always thought to be true, avoid relationships. I guess I never pictured my relationship with my siblings, especially my older sister, my life long guardian, as relationships at all. I mean, they are family after all! They aren’t friends. My sister doesn’t take the place of my mother. I have, over the years, learned many things regarding life as seen through their eyes, however their roles are not to be my teachers. How could they be relationships?

I, too, am Bipolar among other things. My accomplishments have far exceeded all expectations. What I can not do though is build relationships with many people, including family. At least not as I understand a relationship should involve. The main characteristic of a successful relationship in my mind is Trust. While it seems other’s trust me with ease, I lack that ability. Oh, my past life experiences are my main obstacles. The rapid movements of my moods back and forth and here and there, among other Illnesses, are also involved.

I married, not for love but rather, because he promised to take care of me forever. I envisioned myself learning to trust him and releasing my sister’s sworned promise to our dying mother, of that burden. I never thought of the this man and I being in a relationship. We were a married couple and parents. That’s it. He never earned my trust.

Medicine does offer some controls in the timing and severity of my attacks. It also allows my family to breathe a little easier and to give me greater latitude to live on my own (so to speak.) Again, that’s another story.

Relationships? Yes, I have a greater understanding of these things now that I’ve read and tried to relate to the story. Thanks.

)

Caroline Hager. aka: MEMAW/SUNSHINE

Written by

I'm just this crazy older lady who has waited a life time to find her own self and voice. I have two daughter's and 5 grandchildren.