Yeah, Kari Ann, we Are All Told We’re Selfish. Doesn’t seem right though and when someone says this, deeper and deeper into our Illness we go. We can’t help it.
Without going into the whole story, I can say Unequivocally that CRYING for So Many Years kept me alive. Now, I can not, and will not allow myself even if I could, CRY. It has been repeatedly said I do this because I’m selfishly trying to make myself or any one else seeing this, sorry for me. They Couldn’t be more WRONG. My Tears were my way of Speaking without Words. Words that could be misinterpreted and cause me more PAIN. They point out Horrors that others go through daily and never cry. That these people grin and bear it and move on. That I should do the same. So, I CAN NOT CRY. Maybe I shouldn’t talk or write or sing or move….