Thanks for your response — however I’m not sure why you’re saying that Deirdre did not read the book? In her post she talks about individual stories in the book and explains what upsets her both about the book itself and, more so, about the fact that men are recommending it to her.
And I think she’s right — that’s why reading her post felt to me like a cold shower. So the final part of my post is admitting that I fucked up, even if DFW did not.
You are right, he does not endorse the behavior, nor do I — but my fuck-up is in taking these stories about rape and misogyny, and giving, in my post, a primary role to the secondary aspects of these stories, sort of putting the rape and misogyny in the background (taking it for granted that they are condemned); treating them merely as a canvas on which the part of these stories that really struck me is drawn.
Like if, say, I was an architect and visited a concentration camp and then wrote a post about its interesting architectural decisions.
I was conflicted whether I should keep the post up at all, but decided to keep it, now more as a record of my reflection than as an endorsement of DFW.