I’m so sick of hearing, “they’re entitled to their opinion.” It’s time to shut the F%%^ up!

Treat Twitter lunatics like the ones on the street, shake your head and keep going.

Yesterday a controversy surrounding now former Australian Rugby player Israel Folau erupted. Israel is known for his strong (extreme) religious beliefs and his social media accounts are full of bible verses and religious preaching. …

Photo: Rohan Smith @Ro_Smith

This morning I woke up and went about my normal routine. Walk the dogs (yes, I have animals that I love and care for and I’m not even vegan). Have breakfast. Give my wife and daughter a kiss goodbye and head out the door to jump on the tram to work.

I checked my tram tracker app to see when the next tram was due. Usually it’s five to ten minutes so I was very confused to see a 30mins next to the arrival time.

Oh no, what’s happened!? Maybe there’s been an accident. Maybe a tram has broken down.

In mid-2017 I decided to try my hand at stand-up comedy. Why? Did I hate myself?

Did I like putting myself in stressful situations?

To be honest, it was probably ego-driven, so I could say I’d bravely gone where many fear. It was also an idea I’d been toying with for a while because I love making people laugh. Being the clown at a BBQ or during a night out and being the one who makes everyone laugh over a few beers gives me a real buzz. But could I actually write a joke and get up in front of complete strangers and make them laugh?

I had visions of standing in front of a captivated…

This is how my day begins. It’s 5am and I’m jarred awake by a repetitive thud next to my head. It’s still dark, and in the sub-zero temperatures of Melbourne my dogs Kimba and Bud are whacking their tails against the wall. Eventually the thuds are joined by a high-pitched, continuous whine.

My daily torture has begun.

During Medieval times, torture was considered a legitimate way to extract confessions, punish offenders and perform executions. Now it’s just my typical wake-up call.

Trust me when I say I really do love my dogs. As I write this, they are both lying…

RIP ALDI Shopper

My heart rate has begun to elevate.

I can’t wait for this to be over. I’m not about to go bungee jumping or parachuting from a plane. I’m getting ready to do battle at the Aldi checkout.

I know Aldi’s nothing new but I’ve only just started making it part of my weekly shopping routine. I’ve been a grocery-shopping snob for a long time and I’ve finally decided that savings doesn’t necessarily mean poor quality, but I digress.

This story isn’t about the savings or the Special Buys which send people all over Australia (I nearly bought a foot spa the other day) into a frenzy.


On December 13, 2018 at 6.17pm my daughter was born. By 6.45pm I had Googled “What is a sacral dimple?”

The midwives discovered it when she was born. We all know what happens when you Google your symptoms. “I have a headache.” It’s a brain tumour! “I’ve got a sore toe.” It’s gangrene. “Tickle in my throat.” You’ve got cancer of the larynx.

Of course I came across some very alarming possibilities because I decided to use good old Doctor Google. I then spent the next 24 hours panicking that my poor daughter was going to have to either have surgery or be affected by this crippling spinal issue for her entire life, so nothing too serious.

‘I don’t know what happened but I could feel a weird tension in the air’ (Photo: Cristiana Raluca)

A few months ago, I bought a road bike to cycle to work each day.

In the interest of honesty, I should say that, after 15 years of driving, I didn’t have much love for cyclists. I was the typical, “Why are they riding on the damn road?” and, “Once they start paying bike rego they can share the streets”, kind of driver.

However, I decided to embrace my new identity as a MAMIL (middle-aged man in Lycra) because it’s supposedly fun to cycle: it’s cheap, and it’s healthy.

I jumped online, picked up a second-hand bike, got a helmet…

Jack Laurence

Jack Laurence is the anchor for the Hughesy and Kate national drive radio show on the Hit Network across Australia. A freelance writer and occasional stand up!

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