What It Looks Like When A Woman Is A Rape Apologist

Some of the recent discussions about victim-blaming and shaming have caused me to revisit some of the hate, venom and idiocy I experienced after my CNN interview a few years ago. This was simply one short interaction I had with a disgusting rape apologist who just happens to be a woman. Funny thing, I keep hearing that only men shame other men when they’ve been raped by women. Yeah, about that shit…

Ah yes, the victim-blaming and shaming that I keep hearing does NOT happen to male survivors.

It really shouldn’t have mattered one way or the other, but I was triggered and felt the need to defend myself from yet another disgusting rape apologist.

Not that it was really Claire’s fucking business, but yes that is what happened to me.

This is a textbook example of what not to do with a rape apologist — engage them. They don’t care. They don’t learn. They know everything. They want to hurt other people and actually enjoy it. I was in a bad space and should have stayed away from social media. If you tell your story, stay away from the comments and the critics. People like Claire are everywhere, full of loud, uninformed opinions, and utterly lacking in empathy. They are not part of your healing journey and would love nothing more than to contribute to the traumas you’ve already experienced.

Ah yes, a woman shaming and blaming a male survivor. What was that again about “only men do that”? (ahem)

Seems pretty simple. A rational person, not prone to rape apologia would have simply apologized and agreed. Not our sheroe Claire. She is gonna have to double-down.

Yep. More of the same shit from Claire-bear.

I won’t apologize for being incredibly cautious around women I don’t know anymore. That part of me is dead.

Not that it was Claire’s fucking business, but in retrospect I was very triggered after the article and felt the need to defend myself from the monsters on social media.

Claire seems to think she is owed some deference for her uninformed opinion and can’t seem to comprehend that she is part of the problem with her suggestions and victim-blaming. Given that women supposedly don’t do this to male survivors, I’m going to have to give her some leeway for being a clueless asshole. She has probably never been told that such behavior is repugnant.

Umm, sorry boo-boo, but you sure as fuck are siding with her and talking like a victim-blamer and shamer.

At this point, I couldn’t see straight, but Claire needed to hear this even if she lacked the emotional intelligence to understand it.

Crickets from Claire-bear.

Nothing? Well.

Not an apology or even a response to indicate that she was incorrect for pushing her victim-blaming agenda onto a situation she could not possibly comprehend. Contrary to the popular opinion of some third-wave feminists and sexual violence advocates, being on the receiving end of this type of hate, ignorance and arrogance is common for male survivors and quite often the offenders are arrogant, cis, white women.