Digital Insecurity
Desiring Instafame
We all know what it’s like to be insecure at times. Maybe you were that nervous wallflower in school feeling a bit out of place and rather intimidated by the popular, cool, or bigger kids. Perhaps you seem to never be satisfied with how you look and that plays over in how you relate and what you do with others. I could go on and on. In the past decade we’ve seen insecurity enter another dimension of life, the digital dimension.
Fame, or being noticed, can happen in a moment these days through the power of social media. I observed an interaction between Justin Bieber and a fan on Twitter once. He actually responded to or retweeted something she said. Needless to say, she freaked out and instantly thousands of other fans started following her on Twitter and started talking to her about that two second experience. It was like she had prepared for this as she began replying professionally to each person as if her life suddenly made sense and it was time to get the ball rolling. I wish I had written her Twitter ID down so that I could see what’s happening now. I’ve been fascinated by the instant fame some random teenagers have acquired through a handful of 6 second videos on Vine. Some of these people are getting movie deals, parts in shows, licensing deals, and some major advertisement dollars. When you take another glance though you see something disheartening. Thousands, if not millions, of (not famous) young people desperate for that retweet, revine, like, favorite, tag, etc. If you glance at the comments on some of the posts that these famous people have, you’ll consistently see people desperate for attention. They want to become instafamous also. Because today, being noticed or fame is likened to acceptance and inclusion.
There is nothing inherently wrong with fame or attention. There are many upsides to it as we can easily observe. However, on the downside, I remember several years ago writing some decent thoughts on my Tumblr and someone with a good amount of followers reblogged what I wrote. Suddenly, I started getting several reblogs and a healthy gang of new followers. My Tumblr up to that point had been in the numerical sewers of some 20 or 30 followers mostly which were real life friends of mine. Suddenly I started shooting up into the hundreds. I started wondering each time I posted if I could have another mini-viral moment like that again. If I could gain more followers and more likes not because I had a dream to be a blogger/writer, but because it made me feel good.
That’s the point, fame won’t last if you don’t have a vision to back it up. If you just want to be noticed then you’ll get the cliché 15 minutes of fame. If you are making a Vine because you are passionate about what you do, that’s different. If you make music or art or YouTube videos reflecting a vision for your life that’s great. If you just want to be noticed, that’s not going to work out so well in the long run.
Two years ago I sold my iPhone and downgraded to a feature phone with Virgin Mobile. It offered me a simpler life and a cheaper bill. I did this because I found myself becoming swallowed by the mobile life. The biggest withdrawal I experienced was no longer being able to use Instagram. There was something about posting that photo of me having fun that made me feel like it shouted: “Hey everyone, I have a great life! Yay!!! Notice meeee!!!!” Hashtags made that problem worse. This can have a reverse effect as you flip through everyone’s amazing photos. The temptation to think they have an awesome life and you don’t starts to present itself to your mind. The reality is, we’re all just seeing the highlights anyway and I got over the withdrawals in a week.
The Takeaway
If you couldn’t tell by my last two personal examples, I have struggled with insecurity issues in my life. If you struggle with a fear of rejection, shame, or general insecurity, it will likely translate into your mobile internet & social media experience. What makes this digital expression of insecurity concerning to me is that while we may deal with insecurity around others in “real” life, there are also times when we are alone or with those we are most comfortable with and we act like ourselves. However, social media is with us now wherever we go. It introduces the opportunity for the lies of fear and insecurity and shame to present themselves in a larger swath of our life. We have fewer chances to remember who we are in the moments of comfort when we are always around our problem.
I write this not so much to come up with the solution because thousands of psychologists, ministers, philosophers and all around generally wise people have written numerous books, preached plenty of sermons, and penned awesome quotes that show us the way to deal with fear, shame, and insecurity. I write this to identify a problem that can at first be somewhat hidden and under the radar. Social media is subtle. We don’t think twice hitting the “like” button, and we probably don’t cognitively process how we are feeling about what we are looking at, posting, or how the response to a post is effecting us.
If I had to sum this up in two unfortunately overused words:
Be Yourself
Be yourself no matter where you are or what you are doing. I know I’ve gone to the emotional place of not exactly being sure of who I am anymore. That’s when you ask a good friend, a mentor, or a family member to remind you of who you are. We live in a beautiful world; an awesome and technological world. Let’s be satisfied with who we are and what we love. Let’s throw any desperation for attention, any unhealthy need to be noticed out the window and remember true acceptance comes in meaningful relationships, not a retweet from Justin Bieber.