8 ways to increase your gratitude
Want to increase your energy, optimism, and empathy? Then increase your gratitude.
Gratitude is simply the emotion of appreciating what one has.
Studies show that we can train ourselves to be grateful, and that increasing our gratitude increases our happiness and well-being. If you want to feel better, be more at peace, and have a more productive mindset, start with gratitude.
Here are 8 ways that you can begin developing an attitude of gratitude today:
1. Write down what you are grateful for.
Keep a journal and write down what you are thankful for every day. Doing this every day helps me start the day with a positive attitude, since the first thing on my mind is what I am grateful for.
Committing your gratitude to paper will set a positive tone for your entire day, and create a kind of “bullet-proof vest” for when life comes your way.
Want to make gratitude journaling even more powerful? List the tough things you are going through as things you are thankful for. You will be amazed at what happens to your perspective!
2. Recognize that everything is temporary.
Everything is temporary, including you and me. Be aware of this fact and be grateful for life experiences, both good and bad. I have been fired from jobs, broke-up with, shot at, and just about everything else you can imagine. None of these things matter now, because they were all temporary.
“Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.” ~ Napoleon Hill
How many times have you come out of a bad situation, only to realize that it was only your perception of the situation that was bad? How many times did it lead to something better?
3. Have realistic expectations
We live in a culture that is built on instant gratification. This causes us to adopt unrealistic expectations of what life should look like.
“Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life. ~ Marilu Henner
Unrealistic expectations can quickly derail our gratitude. If you just graduated from college, you are very unlikely to get a job that pays six figures. If you are fifty pounds overweight, it isn’t going to come off overnight without surgery or divine intervention.
There are no real life hacks. There is only purpose, fulfilled by hard work, study and time.
4. Replace resignation with acceptance
Resignation is like acceptance, except that negative feelings are still present. This is different than acceptance.
Have you ever been in a job where you were only coming to work because you had resigned to, and you refused to accept the situation?
For example, I had a job that made me very angry and bitter because I strongly disagreed with what my boss thought our department should be doing. Going in to work every day became harder and harder. Of course, this situation did not turn out in my favor, since the boss wins every time. You may even realize that you were completely right. Right in the unemployment line.
True acceptance requires letting go of all negative feelings associated with the event. Things always turn out better if you change what you can, but accept what you can’t.
5. Stop chasing happiness
When you think about happiness, what comes to mind? Is it things you want to possess? It’s crazy how many things people have in their lives, and the world doesn’t seem to be getting happier.
Will things make you happier?
“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness — it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.” ~ Brene Brown
Be grateful for what is right in front of you and happiness will take on a whole new meaning.
One way that worked for me was decluttering my life, after reading Essentialism by Greg McKeown. Take a look around at your “stuff”. How much of it do you actually use or need? This was a startling way for me to see how much I have.
Get rid of stuff you don’t need or want, and you will be happier with what you have.
6. Lose the sense of entitlement
One of the easiest ways to cultivate gratitude in your life is to recognize that your balance sheet is always zero.
“People who are given whatever they want soon develop a sense of entitlement and rapidly lose their sense of proportion.” ~ Sarah Churchwell
There have been many times in life when I thought I deserved that next job, or promotion, or house. This sense of entitlement will decrease your gratitude, make you impatient, and contribute to bad decisions.
But you are smarter than that. You will wait it out, because you understand that no one owes you anything for showing up in life. Nor do you owe anyone for being put here.
7. Set the example
You can create an environment of gratitude by the way you react to others. When people ask me how I am doing, I typically reply with “awesome” or something similar. You can do this without being phony if you are practicing gratitude.
People tend to mirror the behaviors of those around them, and will begin to model your behavior and attitude. You will also notice people asking you how you are doing, just so they can hear you respond, which will lift them up.
You can make a difference in the world around you by simply showing gratitude. Others will notice, because gratitude is contagious. Be the crazy person that everyone wonders why you are always smiling. You will make a difference — often one that you won’t even know about right away.
8. Give back
It’s easy to create lists of what we want from the world. But, when was the last time you listed what you want to give back? Create a “give list”.
“I needed to give back, give back, give back. I felt guilty about my success. I felt uncomfortable about how easily I had been delivered this extraordinary life that I had.” ~ Pete Townshend
List all the things you want to do for others and the world around you. One thing on my give list is to share my story with people so they can learn from my mistakes and experiences, in the hope that they can save even a little time and pain.
Giving to others in whatever way you identify with will automatically change your perspective and increase your gratitude. Your time and energy spent on others will make the ego — the ugliest part of self — smaller every time you do, because your focus will be on something other than self.
Next Steps
Take steps to increase your gratitude and change the way you think, feel and act. Train yourself to be grateful, and your energy, optimism, and relationships will take on new, improved forms.
Start today by listing all the things in your life that are good, and for which you are grateful.
If you read this far, then I am grateful for your time and energy. Reach out and let me know if I can help with your journey.
I want to help you understand how beliefs affect your health, wealth, and success. If you want to connect, sign up for free tools and updates, and to know when new items are posted, sign up at johnlgallagher.com.
