Escaping the Mental Prison
99.999% of the world’s population is in prison right now. Yes, including you. You who is reading this article from a phone you own and inside a house that you own.
I know, right now you are probably wondering what is it that I am talking about. I will tell you this, I didn’t say the following quote, but I think that whoever said it was far much smarter than me. Here is the quote:
“If you care too much about what other people think, you will always be their prisoner.” — Lao Tzu
Am I starting to make sense to you now?
Wait, what was that? A yes?
Hell yeah, I already love this.
Look at your life.
From the time you wake up to the time you go back to bed. How much time do you spend thinking about what everyone else that is not you is thinking about you?
If you are a normal human being (I assume that you are) and you don’t spend the whole day high smoking weed, I would assume that your answer to the above question is a lot.
You accept the status quo because that’s what everyone around you thinks is cool and you don’t want to go against this “everyone”, because when you do, these people will start thinking about you and not in a good way.
You go through the whole freaking day, tiptoeing in order to please every living sole around you. Deep inside you know that whatever you are doing is not what your heart wants.
You want to wear those red pants you bought the other day, but immediately you grab these from the wardrobe, you start thinking to yourself: what will so and so think about me if he or she saw me wearing this? The red pants end up being put back in the wardrobe and not worn at all.
You want to speak out about something that does not please you, but hold on a moment, what will she think about me if I speak out?
Living a life that is guided by trying to control what other people think about you is a terrible way to live. In fact, it is not living at all, a better word for this is existing. You know how that rock in your village exists by the road? Yes, you too are existing, the only difference is that you can shift from one place to another.
This shit has to stop. This madness has to stop. We must start living and not existing. We must rise above our egos. We must stop trying to please everyone else at the expense of our happiness.
We are breaking out of prison. This is prison break except without Lincoln Barrows and Michael Scofield.
No One Really Care
Yesterday as I was walking around the city of Nairobi, I saw a guy ( he was dirty as hell) sitting on the road where cars were passing. He was causing a jam because cars had to avoid hitting him and this made the road narrower.
Hundreds of people were passing him there and nobody bothered to tell him to get off the road or he would get killed. Hell, I passed there and I didn’t care to tell him to leave the road alone.
I simply didn’t care.
I am telling you this story not to show you how bad I am because I did not try to save a guy’s life (I am pretty sure he did not die though) but to tell you that no one cares.
Yes, we go through our days caring about what other people are thinking about us, but the reality is, those same people are busy thinking about what other people, including you and me are thinking about them.
Then there is the thing that has messed up the whole world right now.
It is called the smartphone.
It has stuff like WhatsApp and Facebook in it. Oh, hold on a second, I almost forgot about twitter and Instagram.
With all these things on this smart phone competing for the attention of one person, how the hell will he ever have time to care about you enough to think about you even for a second?
Yes, research has proven that an average human being has more than fifty thousand thoughts in a single day.
Now, let’s do some mathematics, I promise it is not hard stuff. I already know that 90% of those reading this abhor mathematics.
A day has 24hrs which is an equivalent of (24 * 3600) seconds = 86, 400 seconds.
The normal human being sleeps for at least 6 hours and during those hours, he or she is not thinking about anything.
Six hours is an equivalent of how many seconds? Let’s see: 6*3600=21, 600 seconds.
Now how many seconds of thinking are left for this person to fit 50000+ thoughts?
86 400–21 600 = 64 800 seconds
Now let’s assume that on this day that this person managed to choose to think about you among the other thoughts, how many seconds will he or she be thinking about you?
64 800 / 50 000 = 1.296 seconds
1.296 seconds is the amount of the time that this guy or girl will be thinking about you through the whole day. Is this enough to warrant you to care all day about what he or she is thinking about you?
“You will worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — David Foster Wallace
By the way if you are Kenyan and you are looking for inspiration on how not to give a care about what other people think about you, look at pastors who preach in buses and public vehicles. Those guys just know how not to care about what everyone else is thinking about them.
You Can Never Please Every Living Sole
It just cannot happen.
There are people out there who will always judge you negatively. No matter what you are doing. They will always be inclined to judge you negatively.
It does not matter whether you are online chatting with your crush on Facebook or you are out on the beach chilling and enjoying the cool breeze.
Think about the worst thing that could happen if someone thinks negatively about you.
Nothing will happen.
Nobody will go out of their busy schedule involving WhatsApp, then Facebook, then Instagram and then some more WhatsApp to confront us based on some judgements they have made about us.
Winston Churchill nailed it in the goddamn head when he said this:
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something in life.” — Winston Churchill.
It feels awesome when you are loved by some few people close to you than to be liked by everyone.
Let those few people include your family, close friends, your girlfriend or boyfriend and your dog. Let everyone else think what they are gonna think.
You Think So You Become
When you spend all day thinking of ways to please people that don’t care about you, you become just that. A total pushover that does everything solely to please each and everyone else except yourself.
A pushover attracts pushovers.
A life surrounded by pushovers, sucks.
How Do You Stop Being Such a Pushover?
1. Know Your Value
Someone doesn’t like you?
Well it is their problem to deal with.
Don’t stoop low to please these ass hats. Grab a beer and watch them as they do their hating. Hating wont work and I guarantee you that they will move on to telling lies. But who cares about people telling lies about him? People who listen to those lies are the fools. Even more foolish than the one creating those lies.
Sure, they will back stab you and talk a lot of shit behind your back, but you know what? They are behind you for a reason.
2. Do Stupid Shit Knowingly
Get yourself out there and do stupid stuff. Let people laugh their asses off pointing fingers at you.
Let this show you that embarrassing yourself will not kill you.
Neither will what they decide to think about you after they watch you fool yourself.
In fact, they will envy you. The reason being, a lot of people want to do new things but each moment they try taking a step forward, they ask themselves, what will they think about me?
But for you, nothing stopped you. They want to be you but pretend that you are the fool. Well, what they don’t know is that they are the fools.
3. Surround Yourself With People That Don’t Care What Others Think of Them
You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with.
Spend time with badasses and become a badass. Spend time with ass hats and become an ass hat.
See what I am talking about?
4. Set Goals
Make a commitment to achieve these goals.
Let nothing stop you.
Not what they think about you.
5. Do Something You Have Been Afraid of the Whole of Your Life
This will raise your confidence.
I will also show you that fear is just a mere emotion.
6. Enjoy Being Alone
It will show you that you don’t need anyone.
It will make you stop trying so hard to be liked by everyone.
I got nothing to put here.
But I don’t care what you think.
Just leave a comment below and share this post on social media to save lives.