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> drunk people…But where’s the outrage?

Right here. I don’t drink and I hate alcohol, and drunk people. Even slightly drunk people piss me off. Even sober people who are planning to drink later are, in my opinion, fucking unbearable.

> So to every last person who enjoys a tipple yet who nonetheless righteously went off on the “want” vs “need” device I used in the previous article, pour a little out for the victims of your own “need” the next time you raise a glass.

What the…? This “logic” is so tortured it’s turned into some bizarre parody of logic. Are you drunk?

So… If someone drinks, they can only object to things that are worse than drinking.

According to you.

Apparently.

Well that doesn’t leave much (murder? barely), but it appears I’m uniquely qualified to opine on your ode to the AR without being a hypocrite, so here goes:

Dude, that was one weird, confusing, and vaguely creepy article.

If you just wrote a thing that was like, “I ❤ ❤ ❤ ARs and Here’s Why!” and it had basically the same content, that would have been marginally normal. Or at least comprehensible.

But you put it in this awkward, confusing apparatus that somehow involved the idea of “need,” but it wasn’t clear where you were going with that.

And now you’re saying it was a sort-of joke, or something?

And you’re saying—for Pete’s sake—everyone is so stupid for not getting it.

I’d say if your article failed to communicate your point, then the problem might be your article, or perhaps even your point.

Because trust me, we are all familiar with “scare quotes.” This isn’t Yahoo Questions. Everyone on here has seen nine billion scare quotes.

Anyway, I gotta ask because now I’m genuinely curious, do you actually need a rifle?

No hiding behind rhetorical devices. No weaseling around about what kind of rifle. No bullshit about “black guns.”

You put the issue on the table. Now it’s time to take a stand. Stand up for what you believe.

And while you’re at it, honestly reveal what you believe.

Do you believe you need a rifle?

Are you under attack? Are you SURROUNDED? Do you need reinforcements?

GOOD GOD—ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU SURE ONE RIFLE IS ENOUGH???

Please respond soon. We’re very concerned.

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