What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? — it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.” — Jack Kerouac

People leave, you leave. That’s the way it goes.

Maybe the problem is that I’ve been listening to “Scorpion” by Drake all morning or perhaps it’s just because it has been a long week. But I never am so excited to get home after a vacation.

This week wasn’t much of a vacation, but it had all of the elements of a holiday: paid days off, hotel on the beach, delicious dinners, surrounded by my closest family. So what made the difference?

A funeral.

A funeral makes all the difference.

I drove up the east coast from southern Florida to Washington DC, and all along the way, I saw a lot of people, but I got this strange overwhelming feeling that people have no idea how to respond to the death of a complicated person, i.e., most people. It cathartic to talk about the person, your experiences with them, and what you remember, but what do you tell the deceased’s family?

I have the answer for you.

Be kind.

They already lost someone they had a complicated relationship with. Bringing that up over and over again doesn’t help. Surprise!