I never raped anyone and I believe some type of reward is in order
In the wake of all of these women coming out about rape and abuse in every aspect of life I’m really starting to truly wonder if I’m the only person out here not raping people. I’m not feeling left out and I don’t have any desire to rape people but I mean, I’m really starting to believe there should be an award involved with a ceremony and a little parade for being one of the few cats out here consistently not raping people.
Not like a Macy’s parade keep it humble but ya know I could ride through town in a classic Cadillac convertible with a bit of ticker tape and wave at the crowd while my mixtape plays.
I even have an idea for a new track, like with some lady vocalists with a soulful tone, I’m thinking Beyonce, Adele, Aretha, Janet Jackson, Laryn Hill and Joss Stone they could be my backup singers, have Stevie on the keyboard:
“you’ve got to give it up for a brother! He’s got it goooooiiiiinnnn on! Jason Miller Didn’t raaaaaapppeee no one”
then I come in: “I’m a hero” then the females “aint no shadow of a doubt” then me “I didn’t doooo ittttt” then them “It never was a thought yeah!” then all together “Jason Miller Didn’t raaaaaapppppeee no one!” then a Johnny B. Gayden bass solo
Maybe give a few motivational speeches. Get a book deal about not raping people. I’ve had lots of great consensual sex and I could talk about that WITH my partners who will reassure you I didn’t rape them and in fat tell the crowd how amazing consensual lovemaking is with me, even if my style is unconventional. Maybe get a key to the city and get to shake hands with the president, have world leaders shout me out at the UN, a couple of medals, have lunch with Arnold Schwarzenegger maybe Obama could give me his blessing to take Malia on a steak dinner.
Because I never raped anyone. Fully and thoroughly soul searching throughout my lifetime there’s only one person who could make any kind of allegation against me.
I’m going to clear the air on that right now and if she does come out I’d encourage you to listen to and believe her story because I am truly sorry.
I once used a variety of techniques and tactics ranging from soccer slides to mirrors on my shoes to look up a first graders skirt and then pat her butt. I had a problem but Miss Louiselle sat me down with my parents and explained that kind of behavior was unacceptable. I was grounded all weekend to think about it but my father took me out and we had a talk about it as well as why girls don’t have bulges like guys while affirming that I am absolutely never to try to pat a persons crotch without their permission.
Since Kindergarten I haven’t had any problems with forceful sexual behavior. Some people might think I might have because yeah I can be a huge red herring with albums like “Poundtown”, my love of daggering and hentai.
But I don’t just like consenting booty. I like enthusiastic booty. I want booty that’s happy to be there and wants to do it’s best! I don’t want sad booty, or just trying to keep their job booty.
Sure I’ve written pokemon erotica and a lot of other weird shit that yes occasionally deals with the fetish of groping women on trains and other nonconsentual/dubcon content, waterboarding, sexually enslaving a family for 25 years. But that’s not on me that’s on the women that buy those books. Ya’ll some freaks low key. If I could get that 50 shades money writing “a wedding in montana” or “love notes” I’d keep doing it but ya’ll will buy up some weird bullshit to the point it becomes a challenge to produce weird shit fast enough.
(And thank you for subsidizing the rest of my operations even after I was banned from amazon for bein too freaky. Many apps, my music, and reviews of high end gear wouldn’t be possible without you you guys are wonderful!)
Yeah I holla at women on the street but it’s a classical form of holla.
None of that “chase a girl halfway up the block”, hurling insults, weird games or crass shit. I just shout “ayo firecrotch let me holla at you!” “holla holla holla” and I keep going the way I’m walking if she stops or turns around yeah I’ll holla otherwise keep it moving and holla at the next girl or group of girls I see coming my direction. I’m a gentleman.
I am a gentleman, I haven’t raped anyone and I deserve an award. You can check me out on Patreon to see all the things I do because I’m not raping people and contribute to a man that’s not raping people. As well as Bandcamp for music that while sexual in nature does not pertain to raping people. iTunes as well and remember I’m not the gospel singer.