Personal Investments vs. Being Personally Invested

Jourdan Mission
Jul 28, 2017 · 6 min read

I had a pretty great day. Work was great — I had the opportunity to watch Atomic Blonde during work hours, and I was headed to (and dreading) a networking event in Santa Monica. Turns out, I misread the dates and had a night to myself.

So I decided to treat myself to dinner in Santa Monica. There’s someone I was avoiding in Santa Monica. Would I run into him? Maybe, but highly unlikely. I saw this to be a challenge to my courage and I chose to go and enjoy myself either way. I am the type of person who does not like feeling limited in my choices. If I have a fear of heights, I go skydiving. If I’m not good at boxing, I will come to the boxing gym more often and practice my skills. If I find myself afraid or hesitant going to a place I might run into an ex, I’m going to go. Why? Because I don’t want fear to run my life.

The night became pretty amazing. I had a lovely dinner and conversation with two ladies seated next to me during my little solo date. There was no run-in and I reclaimed my individual power. More importantly, I got to get out of my own head and get to know these two women and apparently, their run in with one of their exes at this very restaurant. Ironically, my potential awkward run-in was their awkward reality. We laughed and bonded over that.

Sharing aside, I’m getting to my point. I take a Lyft home and get this text from a very dear friend of mine:

This is my friend Kim. We worked together in partner ad agencies two years ago and we became fast friends. I know Kim to be refreshingly genuine, smart, funny, kind, and generous. However at the time, parts of Kim’s life weren’t working for her and she didn’t know why that was the case, let alone how to start going about tackling those issues.

Frankly, we were both in that place. I had been doing personal development work for years, but I had yet to really tap into my personal power. I took the Landmark Forum August 2015 and she has been a friend who has seen me take what I’ve learned and apply it to my life. I saw the limitless possibilities in Kim as I’m sure she saw the same in me. However, we can say as many encouraging words as we can, but you can’t make a horse drink the hype water. Even I struggle to drink my own self-love kool-aid and still work on it.

So, instead of giving her my fish, I pushed her to take the class that could teach her how to fish. In Spring 2016, I invited Kim to join me in my Self Expression & Leadership course. That night I was feeling especially resigned and negative. I was being a soggy biscuit. But as fate would have it, my Forum leader, Larry Pearson made a surprise appearance in my class. Being in his presence reminded me of the 25 year old girl I was when I took the course and how much has changed in my life the year since then. I couldn’t help but acknowledge the number of transformations in my life and how far I’ve come because this man made a commitment to my life being wonderful.

So that night, I turned to Kim and played a game. She didn’t have a lot of money at the time, so I offered to pay her deposit. In an out-of-character moment, she accepted my offer. She still had to figure out a way to find the money to pay the rest of the tuition, but she had the deposit. It took a few months, but she figured it out. And I consistently checked in on her, to see how she was doing and provide sisterly support as she was getting her tuition fund together.

Kim took the Landmark Forum on October 2016. I remember because you don’t forget important milestones like this. Since then, she has taken on the material and has kicked major ass. I won’t list all the accomplishments since they are hers to claim, but I will say it was the best investment I have made to date, and I’m proud to say none of it is mine. It’s all her.

This takes me to my bottom line, which is personally investing. I gave to Kim because I have been given to by others during my times of need. There is absolutely no such thing as a self made man or woman, and if there is someone going around saying that, they don’t understand the concept of business, let alone what it means to live through life. A good friend of mine once said:

“Life is this horribly beautiful, awesome, scary adventure and none of us make it out alive. But as long as we’re all looking out for each other, we’ll have a good time doing it.”

And he’s right. I am merely a product of key people coming into my life and personally investing in me. They saw something in me they were willing to give themselves to, in big and small ways. Whether it was a $200 to help me pay for therapy, my first car, giving me a cake to celebrate my writing accomplishments, staying up until 2am answering my questions about humans and how families work, sleeping next to me while I had a CPTSD episode, helping me manage an anxiety attack before my first job interview, emailing me to check up on how I have been doing, reviewing my resume, sending job listings my way, or having dinner and sharing sage advice…all of these relationships and moments mattered. Plenty of these situations came at key turning points in my life. There were many little moments that came when I was on what felt like the edge of life or death in my health and sanity. I don’t say this to over-dramatize, moments of generosity truly matter.

As I sit here in my present place, I have to sit and acknowledge the perfection of this moment. I am notorious for never being fully satisfied with anything in my life as it is. I am always chasing what’s next — today’s breakthrough is tomorrow’s old news and I’ll be off pursuing my next goal. I will work hard to achieve another career breakthrough and reach certain financial milestones within the year. Make smart financial investments, create a financially secure life for myself and a legacy for my family to better prosper.

But for now, I’m being privileged with knowing what it feels like to get back ten fold of what I’ve given. And it has NOTHING to do with money. There is nothing nearly as fulfilling as seeing a wonderful and talented human being thrive in life. It’s even more fulfilling when it’s a friend you love. It is incredibly rewarding to see someone grow and see themselves as the brilliant being you see them to be.

So, knowing this is possible, I only ask myself why don’t we do this for each other more? We all have friends who start new jobs, relationships, and businesses, but why don’t we invest in the business of each other as beings? And why don’t we ask that from our friends? It doesn’t mean pay for a class, but recommend a book, look over a resume, teaching them how to change a tire, or maybe try something new with them because they’d be too freaked out to do it alone. Whatever it is, give what you can to a friend. As the receiving friend, I hope you heed the advice of those who care about you and run with it. Learn how to fish.

Better your life and when you’ve got it down good enough, teach someone else how to fish too. Then tell them to do the same, and on, and on, and on :)

When you’ve met those rare unicorn people, tend to and nurture them. You have something to give that is valuable to others, so be generous. Cherish these relationships and they will give back to you too.

Written by

Futurist x Culturalist x Digital Nerd. My passions lie in the study of connection, fulfilling potential, and communication.

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