The Fixation to Broken Things
DISTRONGKADOR — was Nanay’s favorite adjective everytime she realizes I am quiet and hidden on the corners of our home. Distrongkador can roughly be translated as someone who deconstructs or breaks parts away whether the object is working well or not. I remember unscrewing a watch just to figure out why the shorter hand moves slower than the other and how the rhythm is consistent every single day. At 27, I still don’t understand and probably will never. Thing is — I have deconstructed a perfectly working watch and had not put it back the same way it was.
Curiosity Kills The Cat
is a common English idiom even to non-native speakers. I could not make it any clearer as everyone knows when unnecessary questions and investigations can kill us. Too curious and as I checked the origin of the idiom, in Shakespeare’s "Much Ado About Nothing," back in 1598, it was phrased as care killed a cat which makes a striking uncovering that it’s not always just curiosity but it’s the inessential worry after all.
Opening a Can of Worms
Back in the ’50s, fishermen would buy can of worms for their bait. While canned, worms are alive and live baits are better. The problem is they move so they can be elusive as soon as the can is opened. Oftentimes, being an empath is the excuse of trying to solve problems which one is not directly involved in. While the intent is to help, things can get a little tricky in the process, and can end up in a sinkhole.
Fixation and Freud
It has remained a theory all of Sigmund’s explanation of our obsession on objects, feelings, and desires. Experts have established that there is no conclusive evidence can support the ideas of Freud. As of writing, when I try to make sense the reasons why I would find myself in constant distress about other people’s problem, it resurfaces events as I was growing. As the youngest of a family of 6, I was told to be the golden boy, the last chance of taking my family out of the poverty line. People have verbalized how my siblings and cousins have failed to live an ideal life. I was told that them not earning a degree college is a problem; they have made me seen that being a market vendor or a public transportation driver is a failure. While I know that the intent was to inspire me to working hard, and realizing that a brighter future is meant for me, subconsciously it has made me think I am surrounded by broken people, and I am always at risk of not making it at life. I am too busy trying of fixing parts of myself not knowing there might not be any problem at all. It made me see and do less unintentionally — that I perceive things will go wrong regardless of what I do. The stories l listened to as a child painted a picture of a world filled of failure — I am unframing them one at a time, and heal my blindness so I can view myself out of stories of trying and triumph.
