Ten Ideas for Living Well
Ideas that keep floating to the top of my belief system, again and again.
I like analogies and visualizations. I find they help me make sense of the world. A visualization I have of my belief system is that it is a big pool. All my ideas and beliefs float around in that pool, bobbing around like apples. The good ideas keep floating to the top. The bad ones sink to the bottom and, I hope, get flushed away. The great ideas are quick to float up and do so again and again, no matter how often they get pushed down. Other ideas take their time as I test them against unclear or uncertain evidence.
I stir the pool again and again to check which ideas are still sound. To see which ideas still make sense against the experiences of each day. Here are 10 time-tested ideas for living that keep on floating up to the top of my consciousness.
They are in no particular order. The discussion on each is short. It is a listicle after all, saving the deeper discussion for individual essays. The ideas are very interdependent, at times reinforcing each other, at others contradicting. More evidence that everything is complicated and connected.
Here goes.
Be Kind
It seems strange to have to state such an obvious thing. But it seems we have forgotten the importance of being kind. While most know what it is to be kind, coming up with a definition is difficult. And while we all understand that it is good to be kind, we don’t always know why.
Be Empathetic
If I look at all the people who I admire most, the one consistent quality they have about them is that they have a high level of empathy. They identify with and understand another’s situation, feelings, and motives. At a practical level, empathy improves our interactions with others. At a deeper level, empathy is a gateway to a sound personal set of ethics.
Be Rational
In a world that seems deranged many days, I find one good way to rise above things is to push myself to think rationally and clear of emotion. There is simplicity in checking which conclusions fit the observable facts over and over again. I rarely find comfort in blind following what others tell me or the teachings of various myth systems embedded in our societies.
Be Passionate
I find we are usually at our best when we feel our desires and aversions at a high level. Apathy is the opposite of passion. Apathy robs us of our potential to be great. Being passionate leaves us engaged, caring, and prone to action. In contrast, passion can push rational thinking aside and we do not always make wise choices. As with so many things, the trick is finding limits. Which is where the other nine points can help.
Be a Skeptic
Doubt can be a suffocating blanket that leaves us incapable of action. On the other hand, doubt forces us to test ideas, events and objects. More importantly, doubt moves us to test things again in the face of new evidence. A skeptical mindset does not mean one rejects everything out of hand. It means ideas are never taken at face value. A skeptic tests ideas against evidence before acceptance. For me, skepticism is a starting position for rational thought.
Be Brave
Fear is one of the most fundamental human emotional responses. When working well, fear protects us from harm. But fear, especially continual fear, brings out the worst in us. When afraid, our thinking is impulsive and irrational and we are too often judgemental, petty, quick to condemn. Fear is also an industry that keeps us caged and compliant. Fear is easy. Our brain is wired to feel fear with little effort. Bravery takes work but leads us to better thoughts and actions. Bravery is a muscle we should exercise as often as possible.
Be Fuzzy
Our society seems to like it when we are compartmentalized, labelled and easy to understand. Are you a boomer, a gen-x-er, a senior, a hippie, a preppie or a yuppie? Are you a type x or y? Is your parachute blue, red, green or yellow? Are you liberal or conservative; red or blue; introvert or extrovert; a ram or an ox? Such labels make you easy to deal with. Such labels push you to be dull. In reality, humans react to things in complex and varying ways as they consider information, context, emotions and change. Everything is complicated. Humans are no different.
Be Humble
We live in a society that seems to heap praise on the loud, the boastful, the brash. Media, in particular, consistently focuses on the self-promoter, the actor with the great agent, the in-your-face pundit, the brash reporter. Yet over the years, it occurs to me that the true heroes I have come to know are nearly always quiet about their accomplishments. They toil away or do great things without fanfare, quietly taking satisfaction in a job well done. I suspect it is an inner sense of self-worth that relieves them of the need to trumpet their success. Staying humble keeps the focus on what is really valuable — doing good for its own sake.
Be Reflective
I believe reflection is a critical means to growth and a good life. The people I have feared most over the years are the dogmatists: those that hold strong beliefs (of any type), never consider the validity of those beliefs and never want a rational discussion about those beliefs. I value the idea that anything I believe is up for review in the face of each day’s evidence. I work hard to develop a reflective practice: the continual and conscious effort to think about events, experiences and my responses to them in order to develop insights into myself, others and the world I occupy. For me, a reflective practice starts with mindfulness, which focuses on the experiences of the current moment, and moves out from there to consider how the human and physical worlds work beyond the self. Sadly, one of my most common reflections is how hard it is to make a reflective practice automatic and embed its teachings into every thought and action.
Be Thankful
This is a world where so many have so little. Given you are reading this online digital essay, it is a pretty safe bet you have plenty to be thankful for. While we tend to think we deserve the things we have because we are good or because we worked for them, I firmly believe that so much of where we are in life is based on chance. This starts with where we land in the birth lottery and works outward from there as we navigate our way through thousands of random events each day our lives. We simply have no control over so much of what happens to us. The line between success and failure seems incredibly thin, despite what we think about being “self-made”.
But chance means nothing by itself. Just as you cannot win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket, you cannot take advantage of the opportunities the universe throws your way if you do not have the values, attitude and skills to do so. Also, it seems that when you work hard the universe is more likely to put those opportunities in your way.
It seems our lives are the result of what happenstance made possible and what we did with those possibilities. If that is true, it seems sensible that we remain thankful for the possibilities chance first put in our way.
Application
The real challenge is how to integrate these ideas into our day-to-day lives. How do we make their application automatic? The obvious answer is “practice”, but if anyone has any ideas please comment. Or consider writing the article, “Four Simple Ways to Actually Apply the Myriad of Life Changing Points You Picked Up in the Many Listicles You Read Today”.
About
James Britton writes reflections on his experiences in an attempt to become a better writer, a deeper thinker and to make sense of life. He is lucky enough to have a very satisfying day job, so there is no newsletter to sign up for. That said, he welcomes thoughtful comment, engaging private notes or a sign that what he writes may be interesting to someone (a heart click…the odd follow).
