Awesome points and I completely agree. However, I’ve always felt that the best ‘backlog refinement’ sessions don’t deal with the actual backlog at all. In fact, I’d propose to step away from the words of ‘backlog refinement’ and instead focus on something that resonates more with the goal of ‘shared understanding’.
Taking it one step further, in a sense, any process-focused step in a lean methodology is waste as well. I definitely see ‘backlog refinement’ as a process thing which doesn’t directly add value. The end goal should be to get rid of such ‘in the moment’ sessions and have a continuous sharing and discussion of ‘the understanding’. With the right understanding the verbosity of a backlog can be minimised and less time will be spent discussing and ‘documenting’ and more time can be spent on adding value.