Because She is My Friend
Dennett
3949

I read this article because I am going through friend troubles of my own. There is not much I can do for it I think, short of cutting her out. I have been best friends with this person since freshman or sophomore year of high school. We went to the same college and spent most of our time together. We were roommates for a few years as well (I often would clean up her messes bc it was easier for me then for her. I feel that I have always put a tremendous amount of effort into our friendship, throwing her a surprise party that she only stayed 5 minutes for to ditch me and our neighbor for a fair weather friend she liked more than me. She was invited to just about anything I did. She hung out with my boyfriend and I all the time, treating him as her own and demanding we accommodate her every need. And complaining if we wanted to something different. When she moved back home my parents would drive her 2.5 hours up to spend the weekend with us. She complained about the conversation she had to endure along the way. We even let her move in when she was between apartments, rent free. When she got her first boyfriend (after many years of me listening to her in pain over being alone, and fantasizing together about her first date, wedding day and sex) she didnt tell me right away. I would text and want to catch up, but our monthly hours long convos ceased. I was the last to meet him, by the time I went on one lunch date with them a few months later, they were already engaged. I was just learning his last name! When she finally asked me if I would be part of her wedding party it was more like “you dont have to, but if you really want to”. Recently I went out with the two of them and another bridesmaid and I found out that this person (who she has only known for a few years, and has complained to me about for being annoying and too much) is her maid of honor. Even though I suspected it, hearing it confirmed just sucked the wind out of my sails for the rest of the outing and day. Part of me wants to say something, but I fear that would result in her kicking me out of her wedding (which is in December). I loved her so much all of these years and endured so much… My boyfriend (now fiance) confided in me recently that he secretly hated her but put up with her for me. I know I shouldnt care about all of this, that I should just do my part in her wedding and move on with my life, and cast her out. But its hard. I am truly happy for her and think that she found a really decent, nice guy. I just hate that I am not a part of it. Anyway, sorry I didnt mean for this to turn into a story all its own. I am just feeling a little sad bc I dont understand what happened.

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