I’m wondering, Allan, if we should feel in the least bit sorry for New York’s Willy Weiner Wang. After all, he is going in to The Big House as a hardened criminal sex offender alongside other Stiff Schmucks just like him. Well maybe without all that Congressional experience. Or without being married to one of the finest, love-blinded woman in history.
He certainly won’t have it so bad though. He’ll have his girly teeny bopper groupie visitors, every one of their iPhones poised at his package of junk during each and every Sunday visit. Rumor has it that these hoards (sometimes pronounced whores) of underage sweeties are putting together a very large coffee table book that, in part, consists of textured 3-dimensional photos of Weiner’s wiener with very special pages intended to be gently caressed by his wet & wild groupies as well as well as those merely prurient older viewers.
The book can be purchased in a very hard cover edition for $500 a pop which — in my world — seems like a real hosing! All proceeds will be going to Weiner’s Weiner future defenses.
There is also a soft cover edition targeted to young boys like little Anthony when he first started out sexting. It’s in the form of an instruction manual entitled “Learning How To Become” by The Weiner! This sells for $25 and is made of sturdy but easily rolled paper that can be hidden in pockets, pants, book bags, under pillows and in laundry bags. Proceeds for the soft porn…oops, I meant soft cover edition, is to start a Weiner’s WangWang Boys Club that will become a national franchise…to bring photos of young men’s junk to young little teeny groupies just longing to begin sexting under the Weiner hardcore umbrella.
Anthony Sexting Weiner has got it made. And to think… he used to be smart!