Trastevere, Rome, Italy

Hello everybody! Being brand-spankin’ new to this platform, I came to Medium to soak in the advice and knowledge from people all over the internet, as well as develop my writing skills. By no means am I saying that I’m a writer at all, but honing a skill never hurt nobody, right?

I have been scrolling and scrolling through the relationship, love, life, etc. tags in hopes to find article(s) that would give me advice I need help on- long-distance relationships (or “relationshits” if you’re a pessimist). Low and behold, I found next to nothing on what I was searching for. So instead, I decided to find sanctuary in the form of writing a piece myself and wait see what kind of feedback I get.

Before I So here it goes…

It all started a little over a year ago back in May 2015 when I met a guy on his very last leg of a three-week vacation on the sunny, southern coast of California. I was heading to my night shift at work and he was waiting for his flight back to his home in Hong Kong; and in the few hours in-between, well, I’ll spare you the steamy details that you probably want to read about, but shouldn’t share. A few hours later, we parted ways, and that was the first and last encounter I thought I would have with him. After a month of talking to each other every day, we decided I would visit him in Hong Kong.

Imagine little ol’ me traveling solo for the first time in five years for a guy I hardly even know to a country so foreign to me. (And when I say “little,” I mean a five-foot, 20-something year old who could easily pass as a 12 y/o boy).

Now here is the first question: Does this make me naïve for flying across the world for some guy, let alone a stranger? Or does it make me adventurous and fearless? I would hope that this day and age would vote for the latter.

Twenty hours and the worst layover later, I finally reach the hustling and bustling city that is Hong Kong. HK was never a place I thought I would ever visit, nor was it ever on my bucket list, but I can tell you now that it truly is a fantastic place that everyone should find themselves in at least once in their lifetime. But I digress.

Long story short, we spend the weekend in Hong Kong, dance the awkward dating dance that is getting to know a human irl, run into a few mishaps because our personalities are different (I’m witty, quiet, and shy at first. He is smart, aggressive, and very blunt), then he surprises me with a trip to Bali. Now before you go “OMG how romantic! Y’all must be rich!” Haha no. Surprisingly, it’s very cheap to travel within Asia.

Anyway, our week-long holiday is over, we’re pretty crazy for each other by the end of it all, and thus begins the whirlwind of our long distance relationship.

Between then and now has been a lot of back and forth from Los Angeles to Hong Kong, Hong Kong to Los Angeles, and traveling to so many other countries together that my bank account is producing enough tears to fill a new Great Lake. (Pun intended for the student loans I have with Great Lakes). LOL killmepls.

Jk don’t.

Second question: is the romance alive because we are always honey-mooning? Or is it because we travel so well together? It’s not easy planning and executing all these trips.

Within the past few months up until now, we have gone through a ton of pretty nasty relationship problems (i.e. infidelity, mistrust, etc). We spent this past summer in Corsica with his family, and it wasn’t until then that all these problems came to light. It is a lot of personal detail to go over, but we decided to let go of the past and start from scratch. We were both at fault in our own ways, but if we are each willing to give it another shot, should we? Honestly, I’m still really hesitant, but we are finally in a place where we found singularity in each other. We have goals that we want to achieve together. And I feel like we are closer than ever.

People say long distance does not usually last long. But if it has lasted over the one-year mark, over-coming a million and one problems, is it still worth the time, effort, and money? Am I naïve in believing this is still a relationship I should be in?

I have way too many questions with zero answers.

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