Dreaming of Daydreams
I don’t know if I’ve ever been a day dreamer. I myself have always been more of a day doer. Always so proud to get so much done. To-do list conquerer, dominator of daily tasks, wrangler of results. I get things done.
I grew up with two parents that worked hard, because their parents worked hard, because their parents worked hard. And so it went. I come from a long line of doers.
The other day I was watching someone on the subway (you aren’t supposed to do that by the way). They were just kind of staring off into nothing. Not so strange honestly, it’s kind of what you do on the subway. But the difference was they were smiling. Like really smiling. Her eyes were glossy, almost covered in optimism or nostalgia or something equally as good.
Confession — I was kind of jealous. What was she thinking? Where had she gone? Could I go? If I jumped over there and curled up next to her, could she take me where her mind was going?
There I was — staring at a stranger — dreaming of daydreams.
It’s a funny thing about filling up all our time with doing, because we get wrapped up in feeling so full. Every second maxed out. Every minute rolling over into the next until they are all gone and we think to ourselves; “that was a full day.” Full of doing.
And I can’t help but wonder as I get older, if I missed the whole damn point. What if all that doing is supposed to be a hell of a lot more dreaming. What if we think we need to “do all this” to get to our “dreams” but instead we’re supposed to “dream all this” so we appreciate when we finally “get to do it.”
When did daydreaming become a waste of time? Staring and smiling and imagining all sorts of things you can’t do a damn thing about. What if that is how you get where you want to go. Faster than filling your time doing things to get there.
As we approached my stop on the subway that woman was still sitting over there day dreaming the hell out of life. I wish I could say we connected eyes and she somehow passed me her ability to get lost in life, but nah. She was too busy day dreaming. Which I honestly kind of love.
I’m not entirely sure a day doer can become a day dreamer, then again I don’t think I’ve ever tried. Sigh. No time like the present, huh? I’m going to wrap up this post and let my mind wander. Maybe think about what I’ll be doing in five years, or twenty. Wonder where I’ll be, and who will be there with me, and who won’t, and how I’ll feel, and whether I’ll be walking or running or laughing or puddling jumping…or…