MY BIG FAT TRANSGENDER MIND-BENDING

After A Mental Breakdown In A Local Coffee Shop, This Transgender Woman Is Singing A Different Tune

An afternoon of work trying to concentrate in a local coffee shop while battling the relentless gender dysphoria demon, results in a mini mental break and a new outlook on life.

Joanna Mills
5 min readJun 11, 2020

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Picture behind a flatbed truck carrying a load of pipes. A similar situation as in the classic horror thriller, Final Destination.
Photo Courtesy of the Author

It doesn’t happen often, but once in a while, I feel like I am on a collision course with destiny or suddenly cast in the latest incarnation of the Final Destination franchise. Thus the truck carrying precariously pitched pipes.

Our story arrived thanks to a panic attack experienced by the author while trying to get some work done in a local coffee shop. While amped up on too much Java, I was overcome with the state of the world in general, which seems to be in a period of contradiction and competing agendas that feel at odds with my ability to co-exist peacefully.

Don’t get me wrong. I have thrived living a life of contradiction and competing agendas. I am Transgender.

But being locked down and herded in, already inoculated against the ‘rona the old-fashioned way, has left me fully ready for my breakout riot against the…

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Joanna Mills

I am and always have been a transgender woman though I didn't fully know it. I continue on a journey of learning to accept my self and love her.