Sometimes the sadness….

Sometimes the sadness comes over me in waves
I don’t know where it comes from or where it goes
I’m fine — minding my own business — my head on making breakfast
and then it is there — a fleeting thought
a remembered hand on my hip as we woke up together …

and there it is, it hits me like a tidal wave
with such force I have to sit down 
I’m floored by the intensity of the sadness
and the tears
oh the tears
how can I cry so many tears over you 
you who I’ve only loved for 2 months out of my tiny life

you who, in the grand scheme of my life, is just a heartbeat
you who loved me and who I loved
you who caused my heart to expand
you who reminded that love was, IS possible
you who reminded my heart and my body that loving is fun
that kissing is fun and that touching is good

You who brought the possibility into my life of sacred sharing
I believe again — I believe in love again 
and if this sadness is the price to pay for that hope and joy being in my life
then I will wallow in it and embrace it 
I will let it knock me on my ass
I will let the tears flow
I will feel this sadness and know that it is trans-formative