Travel anxiety

So let me talk about travel anxiety, something I have noticed in myself to have for a couple of years now.

Travel anxiety as its name suggests is a disorder faced by people who experience moments of anxiety, unfounded worry, and fear of travelling to a foreign place.

Lol ok I kid – I don’t think it is actually a real thing. After a simple Google search there doesn’t seem to be much information about travel anxiety, just bits and pieces of opinion articles about people who feel anxious whilst travelling. Maybe I should develop a proper scientific research on it.

I digress.

Anyway.

Literally almost every night before I go on a trip out of the city (be it within the country or abroad), I have this massive irrational unexplained fear of going on the trip, and I almost always regret agreeing to go on the trip.

I hate the flights, the process of getting to the airport, having to wake up in the middle of the night to catch a plane.

Initially I thought I just hated budget travelling.

But there was one summer back in Malaysia where I flew out to Singapore and Taiwan at good hours on non-budget airlines and right before those two trips too I felt a massive dread going on the trip. I did not want to leave home and I literally clung on to my father's arm at the airport until he told me that I’m a big girl and I need to grow up. I then mustered a bit of courage to let go of his arm.

It’s not to do with the travel companions, nor the accommodation, nor the mode of travel, nor whatever that makes a trip a trip.

Then what is it about?

After much reflection (yes this is the shit I do in the shower, sorry housemates), I came to realise that for me, it’s about the separation from familiarity and my comfort zone. My room, my bed, the people at home, my typical daily schedule, my normal life.

I feel anxious about going on trips not because I am afraid I cannot assimilate in the new culture; but because I am too used to the present culture I am in.

I feel anxious about going on trips not because I am afraid I won’t enjoy the company; but because I am too used to being with the normal company I’m with.

I feel anxious about going on trips not because I am afraid I will get lost in a new city; but because I am too used to the buildings and infrastructure of the city I am in.

In a nutshell – I don’t like change.

I like familiarity, having a shoulder to lean on, comfort, certainty.

I dislike unfamiliarity, uncertainty and stepping out of my comfort zone.

I have the fear of the unknown.

I know many people do too, but the fear I have really cripples me to the core that I cannot function an entire day before the trip. I just sit around the room, delaying the packing process, eat tons because I need to make myself feel better, write a blogpost – and do everything to not have to face the reality of going on a trip.