How I found out that motivational posts demotivate me

I read 50 motivational posts. I felt demotivated after reading them. I became aggravated with the fact that they had the same tips, suggested habits and information. e.g. (the titles have been changed from the actual)

Do these 6 things and you will find happiness
Adopt these 4 habits and you will be a success in life

I was looking for something to help me. Being honest here. I am stuck.

I became frustrated at the similarity of the articles telling me how to stay positive, to wake up early, be productive, how to be productive, read this book to get motivated, have this food to get energy and go for that walk for this long to feel better. I didn’t read anything different in any of them.

One of the posts suggests that I visualize my future and where I want to be. Sit back, relax and imagine myself in my future. It scared me because I didn’t see it.

I do have a plan for six months from now. I am leaving here — but the plan is of the practical details of my move back to Australia. Finding a house to live in and getting a job. There really isn’t anything other than that in my head. I can’t see past that, it is blank.

I expect the reason I can’t see anything is due to the effect of the last eight years here in Saudi. My life has had many ups and downs with unexpected events happening. I have come to accept that I am not able to plan too far ahead and so I haven’t done for quite some time. Years in fact.

Included in the 50 posts that I read were several articles about finding your passion or true calling.

Do these 5 things and discover your passion in life
How becoming motivated helps you find your true calling

I still haven’t found mine. I was hoping it was my work. I loved to take care and pride in my work here. The last six months have killed that. The reason is due to the work environment and the people I work with. I am not playing victim, I also blame myself for not being stronger. Now it is a waiting game. I find it sad that my last year here has to end on a low note. Ke Sera?

The welfare of animals is a passion of mine. Pondering having something to do with that in the future. Now that does makes me smile. :)

From my endeavour to gain some sort of spark to keep me going, I am now giving up reading motivational, find your passion, here is how to be happy and other similarly titled posts. I will continue reading great writers’ articles that I find on here and similar mediums. These posts that inform, educate and ignite something for me are worth the eye strain and the brain time to read. I can soak those in with pleasure.