Joanne Swanton
Nov 3 · 5 min read

Circus

When your not being taken seriously by 90% of the people that should be taking you seriously, you start to feel mental. Is it me that’s crazy or is it them?

Since my last blog quite alot has happened that needs digesting and it’s been a very confusing few weeks.

Now to put it frankly I only started seeing a private Dr in the beginning because of my history and they helped me find the answer as to why I possibly was losing children so I trusted them. As I approached 18 weeks I had to make the choice of what to do with delivery because if I didn’t want to pay for a private delivery at Buderim Private which could equate to $12,000 or more then I had to accept the public hospital.

But then we soon worked out that they weren’t interested in monitoring me and making sure me and my baby were ok so I was forced to continue seeing the private Dr to look after myself.

In that time I was very anxious about what to do. Find the $12,000 or just see what happens? Deep down I was terrified of the public hospital, if they weren’t looking after me while I was in my 3rd high risk pregnancy then why would I want them near me while I was birthing. It felt hypocritical and wasn’t sitting right with me at all.

A week after my last blog I had a regular check up with the specialist due to the hospital’s lack of interest. I specifically asked her if I should just book my birth with her and she said “you can, but I don’t see why you should have to if your a citizen, taxpayer and local resident” you have the right to have a safe and healthy birth at that hospital just like any other woman who doesn’t pay and it’s not acceptable that your being ignored this way after your past and current risk factors”.

She then said “go home and relax and leave the hospital to me”.

About a week later I had a call from the public hospital staff saying that they had made me earlier appointments and would see me before 28 weeks for a growth scan and check on the cord insertion. I felt relief that someone had advocated for me and the hospital had decided that I was now worthy to look after.

This was short lived!!

During my call to confirm the appointment, I infact found out that all they did was cancel my 33 week and 36 week check up and rescheduled one of them to 28 weeks with no certainty of later appointments based on what they find in the growth scan.

They weren’t giving me extra care at all, I infact lost an appointment.

The private Dr tried and the hospital didn’t like it I guess.

I went for a drive with Sam one day to go op shopping and I ended up driving for half hour just crying. Am I mental, or am I just traumatised and needing extra care and reassurance?

I couldn’t tell.

I made the sudden choice to call Caboolture hospital which is a 45 minute drive from us and balled my eyes out to some poor receptionist at the main desk. She was lovely and directed me to the antenatal clinic who heard 2 minutes of my ramble and booked me a midwife appointment and a consultant appointment for the following Wednesday and said they would be happy to take over my care.

Can I just ad that I live next door to the public hospital that I felt was being negligent!!!!!

So I waited and anxiously spun my head into thoughts of “what if they are just as bad” but from the call I had I could tell they were going to help and my GP and Specialist supported this idea 100%. It just felt right.

JB and I agreed that if I wasn’t happy with these guys either then we would just find the $12,000 and pay and have the baby privately and be done with it.

Anyhow I had my appointment at Caboolture and after 2 hours of the midwife and consultant, I was offered everything I was looking for without even having to ask. All my monitoring has been booked in until the end with the same consultant and if I need surgery to deliver the baby because of the cord problem it will also be her to operate.

SCUH refused to even consider surgery until I was in an emergency situation which in my case wasn’t at all in any way shape or form appropriate. Why was it so easy? I left feeling they wouldn’t offer me all of that care if it wasn’t necessary. I cried all the way home.

I didn’t bitch and moan about SCUH, I just said I needed better care.

It’s one of those situations where you don’t know how it feels to lose babies until it happens to you, after several it becomes compounded.

So naturally I wanted the best care I could get so my baby doesn’t die.

I wasn’t asking much at all really.

I feel like in my case I should not have had to meet so much resistance from the hospital that saw me lose 3 babies and I shouldn’t have had to work so hard advocating for myself to get the care I deserve. All this did was cause me and my baby stress.

I was given a small apology from a Dr at SCUH but it was far too late for that. I already felt unsafe. There are many women who have babies at SCUH and are pleased with the care, my case was very different and I can only speak for myself.

Most importantly I had a check up scan for growth and bubs has actually gone from 10th centile to 32nd centile so growth is no longer a major concern. Now it’s the cord that needs monitoring unit the end.

Thanks for reading and I promise I do have a life outside of pregnancy and rambling about care options. I just share this journey as I feel it’s important for people who may suffer a similar fate to me.

With the combination of two late losses before this pregnancy I honestly feel like I’ve been pregnant for 18 months and still waiting to meet my little baby. I know women who fell pregnant after me and have had their babies before me and it’s a very strange place to sit and I say that with out any envy or jealousy.

It’s just strange and hard.

Almost there!!!

    Joanne Swanton

    Written by

    Grateful mother of one journalling my current path of being a mum and suffering recurrent pregnancy loss.

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