I worry for the human race. I worry for us as Americans. I worry that this beautiful earth will at some point say — “you’re out!” and we will go the way of the dinosaurs.
But then that hopeful part of me, that place where I understand the word surrender, tells me to chill out. It tells me that everything is happening just it should and our planet, our longevity as a race and the future of our children will be…. Maybe not “be” as in being here, or alive even, but will be.
This doesn’t mean there could still be extreme suffering, hunger, violence or planetary disasters. Given our history and the cruel fact that it tends to repeat itself, I will bet you a dozen donuts it will.
But there comes a point where I say to myself — if this is what is happening, isn’t it mean to be? How could it not be meant to be, if it is in fact, happening?
I am not a religious person but I am deeply spiritual and believe in the after-life, God, redemption and angels. I believe in the Zen philosophy of living for the present moment and allowing and surrendering. I believe that there is no way we can judge events as either “good” or “bad.” Rather, they just are.
And within this place where I find surrender to what is and allowing the events of my life, the country and the world play out — there is a certain peace and grace that begins to make sense to me. I look at the world with a sense of detachment and relax into the macro view of the universe. It’s the only vantage point that I can have to be able to operate as a human being, a mother and a wife.
But, I still suck at life. Being ultra sensitive to the feelings of those in my life makes me feel like I have a giant splinter going up my spine. One small incorrect movement sends sharp pain. I recoil from life again, and get quiet and small.
But then I remember to surrender. Within this place of surrender, I find joy in creating things that are beautiful. I garden, I photograph, I decorate, I clean and tidy up the house. I make healthy and beautiful food. Beautifying my existence brings me joy within each moment.
And to pay attention enough when you get tiny messages from the universe that say “be.” Simply be.