Why Self-Love is Key to Love
Self-Love has two evil stepsisters called Indulgence and Selfishness.
They often dress up in Self-Love’s clothes and walk around declaring their virtue, which is unfortunate because it makes her look bad and turns good and deserving people away from Self-Love.
However, Self-Love is not at all like her stepsisters.
She does not take at the cost of others. She is not looking to feel superior or to accumulate. Self-Love serves and assists us in the best ways possible.
- Self-Love is the way to true Love.
We get the love we believe we deserve. If our family did not teach us that we are loved and lovable, we have to step up and get used to being treated in a loving way. There is not a person on earth who can do that better for us than we can.
- The way I treat myself instructs others on how to treat me.
We tend to default to familiar and comfortable patterns of behavior. If you are waiting for Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet and love you forever, but you have past experiences of being let down physically or emotionally, after the romance and wedding he is likely to shift into the patterns that are familiar to you, because it is what you have trained yourself unconsciously to expect. Practicing honoring yourself, and self-nurture initiate new patterns of expectation that your partner can now step into.
- My desires and emotions are valid and acceptable.
Many of us can get into a people-pleasing mode, or into the habit of suppressing ourselves to get along and fit in. While this may get us the peace and attention we want in the short term, in the long term it is a win-lose with us as the one losing.
From a place of Self-Love we soften into accepting ourselves. As our true selves we attract the people around us who enjoy and appreciate us for who we *really* are.
- The highest and best for me IS the highest and best for everyone.
Too often we think of Love as sacrifice. This is based in a lack mentality which mistakenly says there is not enough for everyone. Self-Love is like putting the airline oxygen mask on yourself first, and then helping those around you put on theirs. You are in a better position to assist, and avoid putting yourself in danger.
- Self-Love opens us to opportunity.
Have you ever looked at something you wish for and then thought “nah, I can’t have/do that.”
Self-Love cultivates confidence, which empowers us to take action on opportunities as they arise.