The quality of your moments equal the quality of your life.*
Are your moments characterized by scarcity, anxiety, or the subtle stress that arises from unconsciously hustling to have/be “enough”?
Life is an accumulation of moments.
If we have moments that sound like the above, I call that suffering.
If we rack up a lifetime of them, I call that hell.
Sometimes it can feel like as humans we were set up for failure: from having brains that evolved to scan for lack, to living in societies that reinforce that perceived lack for economic gain. But there is hope.
This morning I had a 2-hr deep-dive with a best friend who’s beginning to wade through all of this (and let’s be real — who doesn’t at some point or another??), and our chat has me more fired up about this topic than ever. I feel so strongly that this flavor of suffering is not necessary (!). Yes, it’s incredibly human — but it’s not our birthright. We are meant for so much more.
Our brains like what is familiar. And they believe what we tell it. Thus, an integral part of the journey is making the familiar unfamiliar — and making the unfamiliar familiar. What I mean is addressing head-on any feelings of lack (familiar) and intentionally replacing them with enough-ness (unfamiliar). And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
Anything that “comes up for us” is an opportunity to learn about ourselves and develop the mindsets + practices that will become our tools for living skillfully. As we begin to draw on those tools, we find that life suddenly begins to open up…it feels more spacious, more experimental, more fun (!). Moments in which we normally may have reacted with fear, panic, and stress, we now find ourselves reacting with humor, resilience, and confidence.
Imagine the cumulative effect — over a lifetime — of making such a switch. It could mean the difference between living in a personal hell OR living with equanimity; the difference between contributing our gifts to the fullest OR leaving our potential on the table.
This is my biggest passion. Reverse-engineering a life well-lived, breaking it down to the quality of our moments. Transforming those moments (less suffering → more flow), in turn giving the world our most alive selves.
*Original quote credit to my favorite grad school professor, Jeremy Hunter: “The quality of your attention equals the quality of your life.”