The other night the husband and I were binge watching ‘This Is Us’ (such a good show!) and there was a flashback scene where you see young Rebecca (the Mom played by Mandy Moore (LOVE HER) in case you’ve never seen) sitting at lunch with her high society friends talking about how well her fledgling music career is going.
Rebecca notices the hesitant looks on her friends’ faces and tries to convince them things are going great, that she is singing every weekend at an open mic and has even recorded a demo.
Her friends, though seemingly supportive of her talent and aspirations, start suggesting she have a back up plan because, as amazing a singer as she is, the chances of her becoming successful are like, one in a million, and what will she do when she doesn’t make it?
Their suggestion is that she find a man pronto (keep in mind this is taking place in the early 70’s).
You instantly watch doubt creep onto Rebecca’s face and next thing you know she’s on a blind date. Later on, she receives a rejection letter from, what I’m assuming is, a record label and instantly takes this as proof that her friends and family are right and that she should just quit now.
END SCENE.
I love these conversations. I have had these conversations, with friends, strangers, family.
Why do we talk each other out of achieving our dreams?
What is really going on?
It is my belief that when someone tries to tell us what to do, they are really just acting out of fear.
Society has taught us that if we don’t get a good, steady job that will pay our bills, or if we don’t follow the rules, we will end up on the street, in prison, or worse.
We certainly live in a fear based culture!
Everything, from the time we are born, is established to control us in some way or another.
Those who love and care for us just want us to be taken care of, to be safe, whether that is getting married, in Rebecca’s case, or going to school for a career that will pay well and leave us with a hefty retirement fund, for example.
What happens, for me at least, is I become indignant, choosing to believe that somehow I’m not good enough to achieve what I set out to do.
Often times, if I don’t do my own work, I will start questioning if maybe they have a point and stop myself before I’ve even started.
It is important to remember that it is never about you or your abilities when someone says NO.
It is their own story that is keeping them stuck in a world of no possibility.
And you can’t change their beliefs!
All you can do is look at your own life and see where you are exhibiting similar behaviour.
Because if their behaviour is upsetting you, it means that there is something you are or are not doing in your own life that is bothering you.
Is this person controlling? Where in your life are you controlling?
Are they being close minded? Where in your life are you close-minded?
Where are you out of INTEGRITY with your WORD and what needs to happen to realign it? Perhaps it’s just a conversation that needs to happen that you’ve been putting off, or maybe you’ve committed to something and you need to renegotiate those plans.
The work is always with us, never the other person.
My husband and I recently moved to Nashville because of a conversation I had with my Mom.
I was convinced moving back to Canada was the only thing that was going to work for me and during a visit she offered her opinion, and instead of getting my back up over it, which is normally how I would respond, I offered it up to the Divine.
I choose to see my Mom’s idea as a gift from the Universe.
I acknowledged that she is also me.
That before either of us existed on this planet, we co-existed as souls and in this life, she agreed to be a guide for me and offer advice and opinions at times when I needed to see things from another vantage point.
And not just her, but everyone I come into contact with in my life!
We all have lessons to teach, and to learn from one another.
So, my invitation is that next time someone tries to talk you out of your dream, or offers an opinion that rubs you the wrong way, acknowledge them as you, listen, thank them, and then choose for yourself ❤
xo
