
100 days of Lithium
Little white socks with pink and blue fishes poked out from beneath the desk in front of me.
“It’s not something I know a lot about” she said in a strangely comforting mumble.
“It’s not written down here.”
What was suppose to be a straightforward exercise has quickly veered off course.
“You came in last year, was that right?”
I glanced up at her, suddenly aware i had shrunk into the seat shortly after declaring the purpose of my visit.
My eyes wandered back from the white sock with pink and blue fishes.
“I’ve been in since then, several times”
“I normally see another doctor, I had hoped it would be on my file.”
I need to do this now. I’m an expert at convincing myself I can go it alone. Waiting to see my regular doctor only gives me the chance to talk myself down.
She thumbed furiously through a heavily dog-eared and post-it note adorned copy of “Prescribing Guidelines in Psychiatry”, 12th edition.
She recited a list of do’s and don’t.
I’d head them before. I know the risks.
I’ll probably get fat, can’t drink, can’t have too much sodium, may suffer a thyroid dysfunction. It’s better than killing myself I think loudly.
I zone out. The sound of a printer brings me back.
She passes a prescription across the desk.
“This will be good for you I think. Maybe you could be the next Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs if you put your mind to it.”
“Maybe” I replied, trying not to sound patronized. I’m pretty sure coders with mental illness are a dime a dozen.
I opened the door to leave the office, the doctor calls after me.
“Take the pills love, but don’t overdose”
Overdose? She must have read an article on the benefits of radical candor this morning and thought she’d test it on her nutcase for the day.
I enter the pharmacist across the street.
Again, a list of do’s and don’t is read.
A square boxes is place upon the counter.
LITHIUM CARBONATE 450mg — 100 units
