Gary Johnson: It was me, I bought 80 million copies of 50 Shades of Grey

“I thought it was one of those adult coloring books I’ve heard so much about.”, Johnson told reporters during a press conference held outside the third story bedroom window of his New Mexico residence.

“I didn’t know Amazon would let you order 80 million of something,” he went on to say. “I didn’t even type in numbers, I wrote “eighty million” in words, in the quantity box. I thought it was one of those website spam things that make sure you’re not a robot.”

Johnson argued, “Amazon shouldn’t have let this happen…I’m not a robot.”

When asked how this will affect his presidential chances in November Johnson requested, “I can’t get out of my bedroom, the books are blocking every exit. Can one of you guys get me a big trampoline like the fire people use?”