Dear Bully

27 January 2016, 10:54 AM

Dear Bully,

I would like to fight you behind the gym today at 3:30 sharp. I’m serious. Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 11:15 AM

Dear Bully,

Just heard about the Geometry test tomorrow. Sounds like we’re going to need to study a lot. Wouldn’t blame you if you backed out of our fight because you need to study. I won’t back out, however, because I’m serious about this fight. Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 12:45 PM

Dear Bully,

Saw you cough at lunch today. Hope it’s not anything serious. Better go to the nurse just to be sure before our fight today, which I am still deadly serious about. Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 1:19 PM

Dear Bully,

Just read about the human reproductive system in health class. Let’s keep our shots above the belt at our fight today, okay? I’m just as serious about wanting to have kids someday as I am about this fight. So don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 2:27 PM

Dear Bully,

Hey, did you hear that Abe Vigoda died yesterday? So sad. I completely understand if you need to take the rest of the afternoon off to mourn the loss of such a beloved Hollywood icon. I, however, have already done my mourning and will still be waiting for you behind the gym at 3:30 sharp for our meeting. So don’t hesitate to come if you feel emotionally ready and please don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 3:02 PM

Dear Bully,

Weather Channel app says there’s a chance of rain today at 3:30. I’ll still be there because I packed a poncho just in case. But I understand if you don’t show because you forgot your poncho. These things happen. Still, I hope that you do show up because I’m ultra-serious and pumped for this fight! Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 3:12 PM

Dear Bully,

You’re an Aries, right? I think so. Anyway, your horoscope says there’s a lot of creative energy flowing within you today. Wouldn’t want you to waste that energy. So if you feel a fight is too passe for your superior creative intellect, I completely understand, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ll be behind the gym at 3:30 sharp, waiting to pound you into dog food. But, you know, that’s just me. You can do what you want. Follow your heart. But if your heart should happen to lead you to the area behind the gym at 3:30, then do me a favor and don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January 2016, 3:27 PM

Dear Bully,

Forgot to mention my recent upgrade to purple belt in my karate class. Just thought I should mention that. See you in three minutes! Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe

27 January, 2016, 3:31 PM

Dear Bully,

Waited around behind the gym but didn’t see you, so I got on my bus. Figure there must be a real good reason you had to miss the fight. No worries. Completely understand. Maybe tomorrow will work better for you. Let’s say 3:30 sharp behind the gym again? Don’t be late.

Sincerely,

Joe