Wigger or Skater
I grew up in Enfield, CT in the 90s. Enfield, CT was a very white town in the 90s.
And in Enfield, CT, in the 1990s, it was decided by the kids in middle school that kids would identify as either “Wiggers” or “Skaters”.
And the division was by jean type. Wiggers wore SOUTHPOLE and BOSS jeans; and skaters wore JNCO and PACO jeans. And kids expected other kids to wear these jeans and identify as such.
And so upon finding this out, I went home and told my dad, “Dad, I need to become either a ‘Wigger’ or a ‘Skater’, and in order to make this decision, I need you Dad, to take me, down to Bob’s Stores (which was a clothing store in Enfield, CT), where I will buy SOUTHPOLE and/or BOSS jeans, thereby becoming a ‘Wigger’; or JNCO and/or PACO jeans, thereby becoming a ‘Skater’. Now what’s important Dad is that whether I become a ‘Wigger’ or a ‘Skater’, I need to buy the jeans one to two sizes too big. I also need to buy boxers to replace my whitey tighties. And I will have to wear the jeans low and the boxers high, which is called ‘sagging my pants’. So let’s get in the car Dad, and go down to Bob’s Stores, so that I can make this important life choice.”
And my Dad said to me, “Joe, son, everything that you just said, is stupid.”
And I said “Dad, that’s impossible. It’s impossible that everything that I just said is stupid, because, everyone in my world is saying it. And it’s impossible that everyone in my world is stupid.”
And my Dad said, “No, that’s possible, sometimes everyone in your world is gonna be stupid.”
And guys, years later, we now know, that my Dad was right. Everyone in my world was stupid. Everyone except… Bob, from Bob’s Stores. That guy was a genius. That guy made a fortune selling egos to children in Enfield, CT.
