Breaking Boundaries

Existentialism is, in my opinion, the ultimate road to happiness. To an existentialist, it is not society which dictates how you should live nor what rules you should live by. No, it is the individual who has this responsibility. It is up to you to live to achieve what you know will make you feel fulfilled, and to live by the rules that truly make up your moral character. To give a quick example, why would you follow the fifth commandment, if you truly believe that your parents don’t deserve your respect?

The existentialist answer would be that you wouldn’t.

Whenever the topic of philosophy emerges, every philosophy professor would point you towards Kierkegaard and Dostoyevsky as the ultimate sources of existentialist philosophy. Very recently, a popular television series captured the existentialist philosophy just as well as the classic existentialist writers did. And no, it was not a twelve episode documentary on the Discovery Channel.

It was Breaking Bad, a series about a man who quits his job as a teacher to manufacture and distribute crystal meth despite the fact that his brother-in-law is a DEA agent. Yes, I’m one-hundred percent serious.

Now one could scrutinize Breaking Bad for glorifying the kingpin lifestyle just as movie critics did to Scarface back in 1983. They have every right to, after all- we can all agree that manufacturing and distributing a Schedule I stimulant is a heinous act. Walter White’s character, early on in the series, struggled with accepting what he was doing as enjoyable- this is very early on in his existentialist enlightenment. After his wife finds out about his sins in Season 3, the phrase, “I’m doing it for the family,” becomes common language in the White household. This is his way of defending himself from the side of his brain that knows he enjoys this. It is family-man Walt battling with “Let Jane Margolis die so she won’t screw me out of my money,” Walt.

It is only in the last episode of the series, “Felina,” where Walt finally commits to his existentialist philosophy. In saying goodbye to his wife Skyler for the last time, he says, “I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And, I was really…alive.” In this moment, he achieves what one could say is his ultimate happiness. As ironic as it may be, Walt achieves happiness by committing a heinous act. Only by disregarding the “family-man” side of his brain and following his true moral character, is he able to transcend the level of happiness he would’ve achieved had he lived his regular, normal life. He truly adds meaning to his life by his actions- which is what existentialism is all about. More than anything, he accepts what it is that truly makes him happy.

The final shot of the series, in my opinion, is the ultimate display of Walt’s existentialist character. After being shot in the abdomen(in a series of events that is so absolutely fantastic I would feel like a heathen for spoiling for you), Walter White spends the last few minutes of his life walking around a high-tech meth lab. Despite the fact that he is dying, he looks perfectly serene and content walking around the lab, simply inspecting the tools and machines needed in the cooking process. All the while, Badfingers’ “Baby Blue” is playing in the background (This is a reference to the type of meth that Walt produced, which has a bright blue coloration). The lyrics perfectly embody Walt’s frame of mind in this moment:

Guess I got what I deserved

Kept you waiting there too long, my love

All that time without a word

Didn’t know you’d think that I’d forget or I’d regret

The special love I had for you, my baby blue

Towards the end of the song, Walt collapses on the floor, and presumably dies as police raid the lab. The camera pans up, and we are given a view of the lab with Walt sprawled on the floor in the middle. He died perfectly content with his choices, in the middle of what he loved most. He didn’t care if he destroyed the lives of his friends and family. He didn’t care if innocent people died because of his actions. Because in the end, he had what he loved most- his baby blue.