What about ex-metalheads?
We all have that friend who we know in high school who liked metal… who shared the same musical tastes as you, who went to all the shows with you and surely played in the same band. Until one day, he starts to dress differently and hates everything he supposedly loved. I’m talking about that “ex — metalhead” friend that we all have.
We all know this type of people that once they get into college or start to work, besides changing their appearance, they begin to do very different things in all aspects of life; also, in extreme cases they start to avoid you because you are “not cool” or “they’ve already outgrown it”, so metal is no longer part of their lives.
I think there are two types of people that fall into this category: Those who still like metal and those who really never liked it and just followed it because it was trendy.
There are many people who during their youth enjoyed listening to these genres and identified 100% with community and lifestyle, but for reasons perfectly valid as their employment situation, they made the choice to change their image to something more in line with their jobs, but still enjoy this music. They go to shows occasionally and although they leave aside the “alternative” image, they remain friendly towards the rest of the community. These people are still metalheads and feel comfortable with it even if they do not go through life attracting attention. Their identity is not defined by this part of their life, but they do not deny it.
The main point of this post is about those people who supposedly loved this type of music but suddenly, they change their looks and begin to behave arrogantly towards those who are still part of the community.
They start to listen to music 100% Mainstream and they think they’re “better” than you, and even begin to speak badly of the community and feel ashamed that they liked this music before. They even justify themselves by saying things like “I was young and liked some stupid shit” or stuff like that.
Personally I knew many from back then who nowadays think they are “too good for metal” or something. It’s only now that now that several years have passed, that I understand that many did it for the same reasons as the previous group: they got jobs, or wanted to hang out with other people.
The problem is when you want to “change” and you feel ashamed of yourself, so you project that lack of self-esteem onto other people who still do what they like and are having fun.
There are people who still like metal but feel embarrassed about it and therefore, adopt a toxic attitude towards others to feel good about themselves in some strange way.
Finally, there is the group of those who never really liked the music and only did it “because it was cool at the moment”; This is the type of people who jump to new things from day to day: One day they like rock music, the next they like hip-hop, the next day they want to be DJ’s and only a week later they want to be Youtubers or whatever is cool.
This is a group of people who will always exist in every community and it is best to ignore them and let them discover what they want by themselves.
Whatever the reason people leave this community, we should not judge them or feel some kind of spite or anger towards them, even if they speak badly about us. Someone must take the moral high ground, and if they act that way, they probably feel bad with themselves on the inside and that is their problem.
Everyone decides what they like and how they feel comfortable. It is better to know yourself and know what you want, as well as accepting that not everyone wants the same thing.
However, we should never feel superior to other people just because we think we are “trues” and they are “posers”. We shouldn’t judge those who may like the music but do not want to adopt the same lifestyle as ours.
We are all in this together and it is not a competition to see who is the “most real” metalhead. We have sports and games to be competitive all the time.
And to those who are not part of the community, we simply have to see them with respect and not try to impose our beliefs and musical tastes on them. We must also be tolerant with new people who want to join the community, and we shouldn’t belittle them for knowing less than us.
The metal community is really small, so we can’t afford to act all arrogant and shitty towards new people, because that’s only shooting ourselves in the foot.
We must always go forward rather than backwards! It’s our responsibility to make sure metal never dies, so we must be cool people in order to have more music, more shows, and a better relationship with each other!
By: Elric Epicness
Profile: Joe Elric
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