Looking for the silver lining
These last few years seems to have seen the left wing, liberal utopia that I foolishly believed not only existed, but was spreading and growing, actually looked like a complete joke ideology to most; a whimsical myth that existed only in the heads of those few people who believed it and hung around only with like minded folk.
It pains me to my core to think that the world, no bubble, that I called my reality was nothing more than a dream in the head of a man who is simply not a real man at all it would seem. All of my hopes dashed across the board by the ability of the masses to pick up a pen and write an X in a box and then celebrate in ignorance and blind patriotism.
I’ve never considered people different just for being gay or black or Muslim or being a gay, black, Muslim but apparently that way of thinking and the minds that host such belief is the real minority under threat. As the world has become more polarised by virtue of masses of people being able to control their daily experience with technology and applications that make them feel more empowered as an individual, we have become a massive collection of people who see all things in black and white terms and feel that they are right because of the bubble they create for themselves. And there is more nationalistic, racist, right wing, misogynistic, homophobic and angry, jealous bubbles than liberal ones. And by a factor of about ten to one it seems to me now.
Individually some of us still care about others more than ourselves, but that is not the norm. Looking after oneself, mine is mine, fuck the homeless, get a job, I aint paying for your healthcare, we need a wall, fuck Europe, immigrants are scum. These are the mantras of the day. These are the things that people will put without irony as lines in their twitter bio or share as memes on Facebook. No shame. No fear of retribution. No consideration that their circumstances could one day change and see them fall into a category that they currently despise and mock at the same time.
I’ve tried looking for the hope in this situation, something that I can hold onto and I can only find it by falling into a category mentioned above, selfishness.
For nearly twenty years I have been dabbling in writing and publishing, on and offline. I have found it the perfect fit for a man with my social life and outlook on the world and the sentient species that I have to share this spinning rock with. In my early years of enjoying this craft I spent hundreds of hours writing tens of thousands of words of barely readable fiction that was utterly fantastical and pretty ridiculous. Or at least it was. These days it looks tame in the face of the harsh reality of the world in which I find myself now. Maybe it’s time to dust it off and share it?
No. On immediate reflection — I’ve lost my liberal bubble, not my sense of self awareness. I should just have a fire instead or just wait for the sudden flash before being hit a radioactive cloud of dust travelling at a hundred miles an hour. Then my fiction and the ludicrous modern world that might have given it some level of credibility can cease to be together.
I won’t really miss my writing.