11 Famous & Inspiring Quotes I Decided To Ruin For You

Joe Garza

Encouragement is such a cliche.

Are you feeling too motivated right now? Too much like doing something amazing with your life?

Well, have I got the discouragement for you! You see, I’ve taken the time to take some inspiring, thoughtful advice from some of history’s greatest minds, and totally pissed on their parades for your annoyance.

Read ’em and weep!

“Stay hungry, stay foolish.” — Steve Jobs

Death won’t save you from a copyright infringement lawsuit from The Most Interesting Man in the World, Stevie.

“A great man is always willing to be little.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Like Tyrion Lannister? Poor guy’s got no choice but to be great.

“Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.” — John F. Kennedy

Not unless you’re a cliff diver. If you fail miserably at that, you’re just jelly on a rock.

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. ” — Mae West

HOW COME JAMES BOND GETS A FREE PASS ON THIS?!

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” — Mother Theresa

Tell that to Pennywise.

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.” — Leonardo Da Vinci

Hmmm, I’m not sure about that grammar of yours, Leo, but I don’t have time to write about semantics — I’ve got some things spread my happening all over.

“If you want to be happy, be.” — Leo Tolstoy

Here, let me fix that for you: “If you want to be happy, toke.”

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.” — Jim Morrison

This is great advice unless your friend aspires to be Jeffrey Dahmer.

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy; anybody can complain.” — Henry Ford

Seismologists are exempt from this advice; those earthquake faults can be a real nuisance sometimes.

“It’s fun to do the impossible.” — Walt Disney

Heh, that’s funny. Because by definition, doing this impossible isn’t actually possible. But nice try anyway, Mr. Diz.

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.” — Charles Dickens

“Hey mister, looks like you’re carrying too much money in your wallet. Here, let me lighten the load for you. Don’t mind that gun I’m pointing at your face.”

I’ve got plenty more stupid articles on tap — check ’em out!

Joe Garza

Written by

Joe Garza

I write about writing, creativity, humor, and other random silly crap.

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