Detach With Love
Young kids often claim other children’s toys in nursery schools and swim clubs. Adults are sometimes just as stubborn about claiming things that are not right- fully theirs. We are responsible for dealing with our own issues, feelings and failings. And it is essential that we let our loved ones own their issues. If someone we love has an addiction or another self-defeating behavior, we have to detach with love. It’s their issue, not ours. If a family member is manipulative or con- stantly angry or drowning in some other negativity, detach. It has nothing to do with you. We are responsible for accepting the consequences of our actions. Oth- er people, even people whom we love greatly, are responsible for accepting the consequences of their actions. It’s not our behavior and it’s far beyond our pow- ers to try to buffer or soften the consequences of someone else’s negative behav- ior.
Other people’s abusive behaviors, deceptions, manipulations, and dishones- ties belong to them, not us. Detach with love and move in a positive direction. Let other people deal with the issues they have created. We are responsible for any problem that we caused. They are responsible for any problem that they caused. Escape from the web of any loved one’s deceitful, manipulative, addic- tive or self-destructive behavior. You don’t belong there. It’s sad and upsetting to witness; but it has nothing to do with you. Stay peaceful and accept that you are responsible for only you. Detach with love and move forward.
This essay and thirty other meditations about making positive change is included in my book, Make Today Count, available from Amazon for $5.99.