The Best Apology is Changed Behavior

The best apology is changed behavior. We are human and we slip up from time to time. We are lucky if the significant people in our lives are compassionate enough to accept one apology from us. They should never have to accept a second. The first time was a stumble and means that we have to examine ourselves carefully and intensely to reflect on whether we are developing a pattern of selfish, self-centered behavior. A second time means we have adopted a selfish, self-centered pattern of living and an insistence on living life on our terms, no matter what the collateral damage to others. It is unreasonable to expect a loved one to accept a second apology. All we can do at this point is to take responsibility for our misdeeds and the hurt and pain we have inflicted upon innocent loved ones. Words of apology are no longer sufficient. We are at a crossroad where only demonstrated changed behavior can heal a relationship. We have to become willing to change. It is a solo effort. We have created enough havoc already and have to be very sensitive that we demonstrate our amends in a peaceful and harmonious manner.

We can find a counselor, attend 12 Step meetings, take a thorough inventory of our behavior, attend church with a respectful, humble attitude, reflect on spiritual readings, and avoid people, places and things that encourage our selfish attitude. We must try to be at peace with ourselves. None of our behavior should be done with the intention of changing others. The first step in developing humility is realizing that we are the person we need to change.